Page 37 of Can't Text This

Python:You know, the way to my heart is telling me how much you missed me.

Me:Fine. I missed you.

Python:DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT

Me:Gee, thank you for the picture of your face.

Python:What? You said you missed me.

Me:Ugh.

Me:Also, are you still at work?

Python:Yeah. The youth center stays open late on Wednesdays. We’re trying to get an all-nighter thing going on for anyone who really needs it, but right now all the kids just have our personal numbers in case they need any help or need to talk to someone.

Me:That’s awesome.

Python:That’s what I am, awesome.

Me:What time do you get off?

Python:Why? You want me to swing by?

Me:Don’t you have to go be a dad or something?

Python:First, I’m ALWAYS a father, not just when I’m at home. Second, no. He’s at his mom’s this week.

Me:This week?

Python:Yep. We do an every-other-week thing, that way we aren’t rushed for time with him.

Python:We’ll trade random days here and there too. Like Saturday, for example—I should have had him, but there was something his mom wanted to take him to, so she got him. We’re lax about it.

Me:It’s great you two have such a solid relationship.

Python:It wasn’t always this way, but yeah. I’m glad we’re in a good place now.

Me:Were you together long?

Python:We were never really together.

Me:Explain that, please.

Me:Then I’ll tell you all my juicy relationship drama.

Python:See, what had happened was…

Python:That was funny. Laugh.

Me:HAHA

Python:Good. It was a one-night stand…or at least it was supposed to be. She got pregnant and we tried hard to give things a go, but nothing stuck. I won’t lie, we’ve been together several times over the years, always trying to make something work for our spawn, but it never has. So, we finally called it what it is and decided it was over. She has a new boyfriend now who I really like and he’s good with the kid, so I’m happy for her.

Me:That’s really mature of you, Robbie. I like that.

Me:Also, you made me laugh really hard when you called him your spawn.

Python:That’s my favorite comic book hero, so I’ve called him that since birth.

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