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Python:Brush it off, Monts. I have something BIG to tell you.

Me:And now I’m scared.

Python:I can’t say I blame you.

Me:Ugh. Stop leaving me in suspense and just get to it already!

Python:I…

Python:Gosh. I just…I don’t even know how to tell you this.

Python:It’s going to change the course of everything.

Me:You’re stalling.

Python:Fine. I…I have crabs.

Me:…

Python:I’m being serious, Monty. I HAVE CRABS.

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Me:You know what? You really ARE a dad. You’ve got those dad jokes down to a science.

Me:What happened to the bunny?

Python:The bunny “doesn’t have a cool color-changing option, Dad. What if I get bored and don’t want it anymore?”

Python:So, hermit crabs it is!

Python:DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT

Me:How many shells did you buy?!

Python:Quite a few. I never in my life thought I’d be a grandparent to crabs, but here I am.

Me:Congrats…I think.

Me:I’m also slightly sad you didn’t get a bunny.

Python:Wellllll…

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Me:YOU BOUGHT A BUNNY TOO?!

Python:I RESCUED a bunny.

Me:What’s its name?

Me:Can I name him/her?!

Python:No. I don’t trust you.

Me:Well, you should. I have a great name suggestion.

Python:For some reason, I doubt that.

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