Page 10 of Text Me Baby One More Time

Shepard:To answer your question, I know AJ from baseball camp. We go to the same one every summer, have since we were little. We’ve bonded over the years.

Denver:Then why haven’t I ever heard of you? I’ve known AJ for years too.

Shepard:Actually, you probably have.

Denver:I’d remember a stupid name like Shepard.

Shepard:Because you have SO much room to talk, DENVER.

Shepard:Seriously, really weird name you have there.

Denver:I’ll let my parents know you approve.

Denver:Still haven’t heard of you.

Shepard:He ever mention anyone named Slug?

Denver:YOU’RE Slug? THE Slug?

Shepard:Ah, so you HAVE heard of me before.

Denver:Heard of you? You’re all he talks about during baseball season. “Man, I wish Slug could have seen this…” “Dude, bro, Slug killed it in his game last night.”

Denver:His crush on you is annoying.

Shepard:What can I say? I’m a legend.

Denver:I believe I’ve rolled my eyes at the mention of you no less than 100 times.

Shepard:You mean you were rolling your eyes in ecstasy, right?

Denver:Are you trying to make me puke?

Shepard:Whatever you need to tell yourself.

Denver:Why are you still messaging me? GO AWAY, SLUG.

Shepard:Because I have something important to tell you.

Denver:I’m starting to believe you don’t.

Shepard:Because I’m being conversational? HOW DARE I USE MANNERS.

Denver:Out with it already!

Shepard:Fine. AJ is going

Denver:Going to?

Denver:What? The store? The mall? Hell? Cool story. I don’t care.

Denver:I lied. I do care. WHAT THE HELL, SLUG! You CANNOT just leave me in suspense like that!

Denver:Seriously. It’s been five minutes.

Denver:You’re totally getting off on this, aren’t you?

Denver:You’re just staring at your screen watching and waiting for another panicked message from me.

---