Page 11 of Text Me Baby One More Time

Denver:Whatever. I’m done. I’m blocking you.

Shepard:WAIT! DON’T!

Shepard:My brother came in and interrupted me. I didn’t mean to hit send yet or leave you hanging.

Shepard:You still there?

Shepard:Wait…are you doing what I just did to you? UNINTENTIONALLY, I might add.

Denver:Possibly.

Denver:Now tell me what you know.

Shepard:AJ’s planning to propose to Allie at homecoming next month.

Denver:You’re shitting me. We’re in high school. HIGH SCHOOL. This isn’t some TV show on the CW where they get married and spend the rest of their lives together despite a teen pregnancy and a crazy nanny and all kinds of other nonsense…that doesn’t happen in real life!

Shepard:While that is oddly specific, I agree, and that’s what I told him (with less details, of course).

Shepard:He’s insane. We’re way too young for that shit, but he’s all starry-eyed and in love.

Shepard:Please tell me Allie is going to let him down easy.

Denver:Honestly? She’d probably think it was romantic as hell and say yes.

Shepard:Our friends are morons.

Denver:Finally, something we can agree on.

* * *

Denver:I told Allie.

Shepard:But you kept my name out of it, right?

Denver:Yes. You’re the asshole in this friendship, not me.

Shepard:So we’re friends now, huh?

Denver:Gross. No. NEVER.

Denver:I meant acquaintanceship. We’re just two strangers working together to keep their moron friends from making a huge mistake. Besides, I hate you, remember?

Shepard:Guess that’s the second thing we can agree on.

Shepard:What’d Allie say?

Denver:She said he’s a moron, but he’s HER moron…and she’ll be saying yes.

Shepard:For fuck’s sake… WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE TWO?!

Denver:They’re deranged.

Shepard:I’d say. I’d never propose to my girlfriend.

Denver:You have a girlfriend?

Shepard:Jealous?

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