Page 87 of Text Me Baby One More Time

Denver:Excuse me?

Shepard:He’s scared of them. Don’t ask.

Denver:Please tell me I can meet him one day.

Shepard:We’ll see.

Denver:Can I just say I think it’s kind of cool of you to be so protective of your friend and give up your single man status for her.

Shepard:What can I say? I’m a gentleman.

Denver:Oh, Shep. I don’t know if I’d use that word to describe you. Utter shithead, maybe, but not gentleman.

Shepard:You say the sweetest things to me sometimes.

Shepard:If it makes you feel any better about Penny, she told me at Christmas she plans to dump me before school’s out. I’ve been practicing my fake crying for weeks.

Denver:I’m sorry to hear that.

Shepard:So…uh…are you seeing anyone else?

Denver:I’m not. Not even fake dating anyone either.

Denver:Though I did just turn down someone who asked me to the dance tomorrow.

Shepard:I want to feel bad that you’re not going and experiencing that, but I’m also really fucking happy you turned him down. I don’t think I could handle knowing someone was dancing all up on you all night long.

Denver:He still picks his nose. I didn’t do it for you, Shep. I did it for myself. Quit being so full of yourself.

Denver:(okay, that’s a lie, I did it for you)

Shepard:So you’re telling me you’re into nose-pickers? That might be a deal-breaker.

Denver:Well, this was fun while it lasted.

Denver:One more thing though…

Shepard:Shoot.

Denver:You said no cards, chocolates, or flowers…

Shepard:No pugs either.

Denver:*cries*

Denver:Why do you torture me?!

Shepard:God, Bucky, forever with you is going to be so much fun.

* * *

Denver:DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT

Denver:YOU ARE A LIAR!

Shepard:I am not.

Denver:You do too believe in Valentine’s Day!

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