Page 88 of Text Me Baby One More Time

Shepard:I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Denver:You said you weren’t sending anything, but you did. You’re a closet romantic.

Shepard:I said I wouldn’t send a card, chocolate, or flowers.

Shepard:Or a pug.

Denver:But you sent me pug-shaped cookies?

Denver:You looooooove me.

Shepard:I tolerate you. On a good day.

Denver:Uh huh. You wanna kiss me.

Denver:UGH. Why’d I say that? Now I want to kiss you.

Shepard:WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOP IT.

Shepard:Shit. Now I can’t stop thinking about kissing you.

Denver:I’M SORRY!

Denver:Kind of.

Denver:You totally have a boner now, don’t you?

Shepard:Pft. No.

Denver:You know, I heard your dick shrinks half an inch for every lie you tell.

Shepard:I don’t have a boner!

Denver:It’s perfectly natural, Shep. Even ladies get boners—in our nipples.

Shepard:Stop talking, Denver.

Denver:Oooh, using the full name huh? You’re totally thinking about my nipples, aren’t you?

Denver:Bet that boner is real painful right about now.

Shepard:Quit saying boner!

Shepard:You’re too exhausting for me to have one right now.

Denver:You’ll have one later. I’m certain of it.

Denver:Shep?

Shepard:What?

Denver:Boner.

Shepard:GODDAMIT!

Nineteen

Shepard

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