Page 91 of Text Me Baby One More Time

My automatic response kicked me in the ass and I ran to my room, calling AJ and asking him to explain what love felt like.

It was the most awkward fucking conversation in all our years of friendship, but when it was over, I had my answer.

I was in love with Denver Andrews, a girl who lived over two thousand miles away, a girl I’d never met and only knew via text. I’d never heard her voice or her laugh, but I already knew I loved them.

Still, that didn’t stop me from completely screwing things up for us.

That’s what happens when doubt and worry creep into your head. You do really stupid shit—shit you can’t fix, shit that takes years to heal, shit that can fuck you up and turn you into a person even you don’t recognize.

I know, because that’s what happened to me.

I made one mistake and it snowballed into several more. I couldn’t stop it. It didn’t matter who I was hurting in the process because no matter what I did, they couldn’t hate me as much as I hated me.

I realize how fucked up that kind of logic is.

“How’s the article coming along?” I ask, changing the subject on her, not answering her question because I’m not interested in lying to her.

She takes a sip of her orange juice, which she insisted on getting along with another coffeeanda water. Surprisingly, she’s had most of all three. “It’s going.”

“What exactly are you writing about?”

“You.”

“Right, but what about mespecifically? My stats? My career?”

“No baseball stuff, actually. I want the community to get to know the golden boy they adore so much. I…” She runs her fingers over the condensation on her glass, not meeting my curious eyes. “I want them to get to know the Shep I used to know…if he still exists,” she adds quietly.

“He does.”

She doesn’t say anything for the longest time, her attention still focused on her cup.

I shovel a few more bites of food in, unsure of where to take this conversation after that.

She guzzles the rest of her juice like there’s secretly vodka mixed in there and nearly slams her glass down onto the table.

Finally, she looks at me. “I’m starting to believe that.”

Hope sparks inside me.

Hope I’ve longed for.

Hope I desperately need when it comes to Denny.

Hope that gets fucking crushed when I look up and see Zach. He’s tugging his girlfriend along behind him, about to walk directly by my table.

We lock eyes.

His harden, and I try to not cower.

He turns to Delia, whispering something to her. She glances to me and nods. They quicken their pace, planning to waltz by without saying a word.

I don’t blame them.

“Delia!”

She whips her head Denny’s way just as they’re pushing past us.

“Oh my gosh, I haven’t seen you in forever!” Denny scrambles out of the booth, throwing her arms around my brother’s girlfriend.

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