Page 112 of A Pizza My Heart

“Shitting in your living room.” I scratch at my chest, rolling my eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I got it.”

She harrumphs, crossing her arms and shooting daggers my way.

“Sorry,” I wince. “That’s my bad. He’s used to going out promptly at five thirty. It’s running time for me, pooping time for him.”

“Well, thanks for—”

“Oh no you don’t,” I interject. “No smartass comments from you, not after last nightandearly this morning.You’rethe reason I didn’t get up for my run.”

“Me? That was all you, Mr. Horndog!”

“I didn’t hear you complaining.” I laugh. “Are we really having this conversation right now?”

“Yes! Becauseshit!” She huffs, but she can’t seem to stay annoyed, laughter bubbling out of her.

I shake my head. “You finished being ridiculous?”

“I’m still annoyed, but yes.”

“Good.” I smack a kiss to her cheek. “Now, let’s talk breakfast because I amstarving.”

“Well, you did skip dinner last night.”

“Worth it.”

“And you did sleep way past your normal eating time, so I’m not surprised. How about…” She taps her finger on her chin. “Hmm…I don’t know what I have ingredients for.”

“Then surprise me. At this point, I’m not going to turn anything down.”

“Not even pickled beets?”

I nearly gag just thinking about it. “Okay, maybe that.”

“Good, because I’m all out.” She grins. “Go shower. I’ll cook. Deal?”

“Deal.”

She scuttles off the bed and I toss the blanket from my body, springing up and stretching my back out.

“Oh my god, you sleptnakednext to me all night long?”

Her eyes are trained on my fully exposed package, which is swinging in the wind. My cock stirs to life the longer her eyes linger.

“Yep. And you’d have known that if you hadn’t slept on the complete opposite side of the bed.”

She lifts a shoulder. “What? I hate being touched when I’m sleeping. It’s weird.”

“It wouldn’t have been weird with me.”

“Trust me, Foster, even if Emma Stone were in bed with me trying to snuggle, it would be weird.”

“Yeah, but only because Emma Stone has no idea who you are.”

“Well, she should. I’m hilarious.”

“You sure about that?”

“Can you just cover your junk, please?”

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