Page 56 of A Pizza My Heart

“Drip dry.”

“I forgot my clothes too,” I grind out.

“Why didn’t you just ask me to bring you a towel?”

I can’t tell him I didn’t ask because I just spent way too long wondering what his lips taste like and acknowledging how good he felt standing between my legs.

I can’t admit I spent several minutes standing naked in my shower thinking of how good he looked running on the beach this morning.

I can’t tell him that, suddenly, after knowing him for half my life, I’m thinking things about him I never thought I would.

“I knew you’d use it as a chance to make me do something embarrassing for you later on.” It’s only a semi-lie, because as I’m saying it, it truly does sound like something he’d do.

“I wouldn’t do that to you, Birdie.”

“Liar! Your lips totally just twitched as you said that!” I point to him. “You would have made me go buy you athlete’s foot cream or ball powder or a dildo or toilet paper and laxatives or something weird like that.”

He falls into a fit of laughter. “What the hell am I going to do with a dildo?”

“I don’t know your life, Foster! I’m not about to judge if you buy dildos, but I amnotbuying one for you.”

“I can assure you, there will be no dildo buying. Maybe laxatives and TP—simple, yet so funny—but no dildos.”

“Can we stop saying dildos? I’m naked under this rug and it’s making me all uncomfortable.”

“Oh, I amveryaware you’re naked under that thing.”

I clutch the provisional towel tighter. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you’ve seen my butt. We go half our lives without you accidentally seeing me naked then you’re back in town for all of two seconds and boom, nudity central!”

“Do you want me to show you my butt to make this fair?”

“Did you just offer tomoonme?”

“Kind of? And I don’t hear you saying no.”

“I—”

Before I know it, I’m staring at Foster’sverywhite ass. Though it’s pale, it’s not bad looking…minus the tattoo.

He yanks his pants back up and leans against the wall once again, still grinning.

“Like what you see?”

“Yes, Foster, your pasty white cheeks have my lady bits tingling with desire,” I deadpan.

“Pfft.” He brushes his shoulder off, clearly feeling darn proud of himself right now. “Knew it.”

I tap my finger against my chin. “You know, I think my favorite part might have been the tattoo.”

His eyes widen. “Fuck.”

“An octopus, Foster? You have an octopus tattooed on your butt cheek?”

“It’s a squid, thank you very much. And I thought we weren’t saying butt cheek anymore.”

“You can’t, but I can. Why do you have a squid on your”—I pump my eyebrows—“butt cheek?”

“Drunken dare from Porter. I forget about it all the time.”

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