Page 49 of I Knead You Tonight

I glare at him. “Don’t you dare throw my son’s wellbeing in my face like you have any say in how I run my life. If I didn’t think I’d be safe, I wouldn’t have done it. Besides, it’s a tiny town. The only crime that happens here is a bike getting stolen by school bullies every now and then. I’m a big girl, Winston. I can handle myself.”

“We have drifters.”

“I truly feel like you’re just grasping at straws right now because you’re trying to make me feel bad about not calling and begging you for a ride like some damsel in distress.” I pull the cash from my apron before I hang it on the hook near the door. “Check your ego before you really piss me off.”

He rises from the couch. “It’s not my ego I’m worried about. It’s you.”

“I stand by what I said. I can handle myself.”

I hustle past him, heading for the bedroom.

“Do you really expect me to believe that’s true? You can’t even pay a fucking electric bill on time.”

His words stop me in my tracks, and my eyes sting with embarrassment.

I march across the room toward him, fists balled at my sides, nails digging into my palms, my hand itching to make contact with his face.

“I hate you, Winston,” I grind out. “I fuckinghateyou. Every single time I think you’re not a complete prick, you prove me wrong. So fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. If you were that worried about me, maybe you should have been there for me today.”

“I had shit to do.”

“Oh? Like what? Bail on your family…again? You know Wren came in and covered your shift, right? She putherbusiness on hold because you can’t be bothered to show up for a shift at a fucking pizzeria and you wantmeto sit around waiting for you? To rely on you for rides to work?” I laugh. “Hilarious! You’re the most unreliable person I know.”

He grits his teeth together. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I don’t? So then you didn’t call into work today to run off doing god knows what?”

“It was important,” he argues. “But never mind all that. That’s not what we’re talking about here. We’re talking about—”

“How I’m supposed to wait around on you to save me. Yeah, I got that, but I’m telling you I can’t depend on you for anything because you’ve proven time and time again that you’re not that type of person. You only care about you.”

“Let me get this straight: because I don’t always show up to work at a—what was it again? Oh yeah, afucking pizzeria,” he mocks in the same tone I used, “I’m a complete shitbag? That job doesn’t mean shit to me, Drew.”

“That’s just it, Winston!” I throw my hands into the air, adrenaline pumping through my veins. “Nothing means anything to you! You’re on the back half of your twenties and have zero drive to do anything! How do you not see the problem with that?”

“I have drive,” he argues.

“You sure as shit don’t show it.”

“You think just because I don’t walk around telling every single person I meet about every little goddamn thing I do I don’t have drive? Don’t aspire to anything? That’s bullshit. I aspire to plenty.”

“Then why don’t you act on any of it? Why don’t you make something of all that talent you have? I know you do photography. I’ve seen you with the camera, and you clearly love being behind it. Why aren’t you running a business with that? Why are you just working in your father’s pizzeria making everyone else’s life miserable?”

“Because…I…shit! Fuck!” He grabs at his hair. “I don’t know, okay? I don’t fucking know. I’m scared if I do something with my photography then that means I can’t enjoy it anymore, means I can’t just do it because Iwantto do it but because I then suddenlyhaveto do it. I don’t want the pressure.”

I wave my hand around the house. “It’s not like you have anything to worry about if you don’t make it big. You’re set for life.”

He scoffs. “You have no idea what it feels like to have all this.”

“Uh, what? Freeing? Yeah, Winston, must bereallyhard to have a fucking roof over your head. Must be really goddamn hard to not have to worry about that at all.”

He gnashes his teeth. “You don’t get it.”

“Then explain it to me!”

“No!” he screams. “No! You clearly already have this idea of me in your mind painted nice and vibrant. What the fuck is the point?”

“I—”

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