Page 104 of Doughn't Let Me Go

Maybe that’s just what I need—more nights with her.

Actually, that’sexactlywhat I need. I need more Dory.

I just have to convince her we can do this without feelings, and I know she’ll be in because I know she wants this too.

Rising from the couch, I stomp down the stairs with a plan in mind.

I’m going to convince Dory to have meaningless sex with me.

I just hope I can hold up my end of the bargain.

Slice Fourteen

Doris

“Let’s not kiss.”

It’s the second night in a row Porter has showed up at my door unannounced.

Last night when he came knocking, I was already awake and had to mess up my hair and rub my eyes to make it look like I’d been sleeping.

But I hadn’t. Wasn’t even close to it.

All I could do was lie in bed and think about our night of drinking where I begged him to kiss me and he wouldn’t.

I wanted to forget about it. I was utterly embarrassed he shot me down. I meant my words at the time when I told him I wanted to forget all about it.

Then the more I lay there and thought on it, the more I understood and didn’t want to forget.

Porter said no because he’s a good guy. He’s respectful. He cares.

And caring is a lot like feelings.

Which is why when he showed up last night, I should have shoved him away. I shouldn’t have let him kiss me.

But I did.

I couldn’t let another day go by without knowing how it feels to kiss him.

And it felt…like everything.

“What?”

“Let’s not kiss. It’s what I wanted to say to you earlier.”

“Okay…” I draw the word out. “What are you getting at?”

“Kissing means feelings, right?”

I nod. “Right.”

“Then let’s not do it. Let’s not bring feelings into this. Let’s just fuck to get this out of our systems.”

“Porter…” I start. “We live together. I’m your daughter’s nanny. Don’t you think it’s going to be hard to keep feelings out of this even if we don’t kiss?”

“Not if we don’t overthink it. If you don’t kiss me, you can’t fall for me.”

“Because you’re a really good kisser,” I murmur, recalling the first night we met.

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