Page 127 of Doughn't Let Me Go

Mel called me shortly after my blunder and chewed me a new asshole.

She’s lucky I love her and let her go on as long as I did considering I sign her paychecks and all.

But she was right. It was my mistake, and I made it because I can’t seem to get my daughter’s nanny out of my head.

This summer with Dory has been as gratifying as it has been frustrating.

I thought for sure we were making headway after the get-together at Winston and Drew’s, but it seems for every step we take forward, we take two back. Every time she looks at me with those eyes that sayI want this too, she reminds me of our no-feelings agreement.

I have feelings.

A lotof fucking feelings.

And I want to spew them all out at her more than I’ve ever wanted to do anything before.

She kissed me.

This morning, I felt her press her lips against mine. It took every ounce of strength I had to control my breathing and pretend to still be asleep and not kiss her back.

But she fucking kissed me.

Which is why I’m standing at her door tonight. Not to fuck, though I’d never complain about that, but to talk.

About us.

Even while Mel was berating me this morning for missing the call and all my other fuckups, all I could think about was Dory’s lips on mine and how I’d like to feel them for as long as she’ll let me.

I could be insane making this leap, but I begged Mel to fly out here earlier than we originally scheduled. If I can talk her into it, I’ll be making her my partner and signing over a majority of the company to her.

Not just because she’s right and I need a break. I’ve been running myself into the ground since I was a teen, always biting off more than I can chew, and I’ve officially come to the end of my rope. I need to relax, and not just to avoid going on blood pressure medication before I hit thirty. I need to do it so I can be a better father to Kyrie, and so that maybe—just maybe—I can finally find some happiness outside of the company I built.

I want that happiness with Dory.

I just hope she’ll be on board with that too.

Lifting my hand, I rap my knuckles against the door. I don’t know why I do it. I could walk right in and she wouldn’t mind a bit. But with all these other lines we’ve had drawn between us, it just feels wrong to do so.

There’s a shuffle behind the wooden door, and I wonder if she’s brushing her hair down or pulling that tiny sleep shirt of hers down over her ass.

She pulls the door open just an inch. When she realizes it’s me, she pulls it back farther, a shy grin stretching across her lips.

“Hi,” she says breathlessly.

“Hi. Can I come in?”

She bites her bottom lip, looking nervous for the first time since the first night I showed up in this exact same spot.

Finally, she nods and opens the door just enough to let me in.

I itch to gather her in my arms and crowd her against the door or toss her onto the bed, pulling one of her perfect nipples into my mouth while I let my hands roam her body like I normally do.

But not tonight.

Tonight, I brush past her and take a seat on the edge of the bed.

She hesitates by the door, staring at me with a tentative gaze.

“I’m not going to bite you, Dory,” I tell her.

---