Despite what happened, things have been good between us. Normal. Back to the same routine as before.
At least that’s what it looks like to anyone else.
We’re putting more distance between us than there has been, both physically and emotionally. We’re smiling, but the expression never reaches our eyes. We’re talking, but we’re not really saying anything.
Things have changed.We’vechanged.
That once easy dynamic isn’t so easy, and it’s all fallen apart in a matter of days.
Part of me wants to take it all back: the incident in the hall, the kiss, and everything after. I want to go back to what we had before.
But I want to see what we could have even more, and I have no idea how to fucking tell her that when it’s clear she doesn’t want the same thing.
I close myself into the bathroom and crank the water all the way up, letting the steam fill the room as I strip off my basketball shorts and tee.
I step into the tub, pull the curtain closed, and sigh when the water hits my back.
I’ve been so knotted up over things with Caroline that I’mliterallyknotting up. Normally I’d ask her to use the foam roller on my back and work out the kinks, but I don’t think having her straddle me is the best idea right now.
Unless she’s straddling my lap…
My cock stirs to life, and I try to ignore the throbbing that seems to be a constant as of late.
Instead, I reach for the shampoo and pour a good amount on my hands, then scrub at my hair.
I wonder how good Caroline’s fingers would feel doing this, if they’d feel as good as they did when they were in my hair last time…
“Fuck!” I shout, smacking the wall in frustration.
“Cooper?”
I freeze when I realize she’s right outside the door.
I just wanted a few minutes alonenotthinking about her.
“You okay in there?” she calls.
“Fine!” I shout back, maybe a little too aggressively.
I don’t hear her say anything else, shoving myself back under the water, drowning out her voice, and all my thoughts of her.
When the fuck did she get so stuck in my head?
When did she become all I can think about?
When did I start havingfeelingsfor my best friend?
I realized days ago it goes beyond anything sexual when I missed her.
Not her touch or her lips.
Her.
The annoying way she always slaps her legs when she finds something truly funny. The references to those ridiculous TV shows she loves. How she always drinks all the good flavored water and leaves me with the gross ones. Fuck, I even miss her always rolling her eyes at me.
I miss those trivial things about her that she’s holding back on now.
She’s scared. Shy. Walking the straight and narrow. Playing it safe.