Page 36 of Sin

We land and take a car to the hotel. It’s beyond luxurious, and I feel self-conscious in my old jeans and sweatshirt as we ride the elevator to the penthouse suite. As soon as he walks into the room, Sin goes straight to the top shelf mini bar and makes himself a double whiskey on the rocks. “Want one?” he asks, holding a crystal glass up to me.

I hesitate. It’s tempting to try to calm my nerves with alcohol, but I want to be fully present for what’s to come. “I’ll just sip on some water,” I tell him, pouring myself a glass of the cucumber-infused water and sitting down next to him on the couch. “Are we just chilling here tonight?” I ask, trying to lay out my plan of attack.

“I thought we’d head out to a late dinner, then maybe hit a club or two for dancing.” He takes another sip of his drink. “That sound okay to you?”

“Sure. Sounds cool.” I say casually, likehitting up a clubis something I’ve ever done before.

“Then that’s the plan,” he says, and picks up one of the controllers and starts playing the newest Grand Theft Auto on the huge television screen.

I look at him while he plays. He’s been distant all day. I’m close to asking him if something is wrong, but Sin on any given day can run through a wide mix of moods. Maybe I just need to let him alone so he can chill and play at stealing cars for a while.

Too nervous to chill and enjoy all the amenities of the fancy suite, I take a shower in the marble-tiled, multiple-head rainshower. The high-pressure jets feel great on my body as I clean myself thoroughly to make sure I’m ready for Sin later tonight.

When I walk back out to the sitting room, I find Sin standing out on the balcony with a drink in his hand, staring out at the city lights. At my footsteps, he turns around, his glance slowly scanning me from head to toe.

His scrutiny triggers all my self-doubts. He’s dressed in a clearly expensive black silk chiffon shirt and jeans that give him an effortlessly cool look. I look down at my own outfit. For once, my jeans don’t have holes in them. They’re new, and I paired them with a white button-down and a slim-fitting black vest and leather boots. I’d used a chunk of my savings for new outfits for this weekend, but they’re definitely not designer, and I have no idea if they’re appropriate attire for clubbing.

“D-do I look all right?” I ask, my hand nervously running through my hair.Crap. My hair.“I meant to get a haircut before this weekend. I was going to ask the barber to crop it all off.”

He stalks toward me, puts his drink down on the side table, and grabs a fistful of hair in his hands. “I’ll murder the barber who gives you more than a trim,” he growls, running his fingers through my mess of curls. The slight pain at the tug of his hand through my hair makes me let out a tiny gasp. His eyes flare, and I can feel that he’s on the edge of giving me everything I want.

“We don’t have to go to dinner,” I whisper. “We could just stay here.”

My words immediately douse the flare in his eyes. He lets go of my hair and steps away from me. Picking up his drink from the table, he downs it one gulp.

I curse myself for breaking the fragile moment between us. There has to be some way to get it back.

“Sin,” I say, stepping toward him, but he quickly sidesteps me and grabs his wallet, and pushes the button for the private elevator. “We’re going to be late for our reservation.”

Not knowing what else do, I follow him into elevator and ride down to the lobby. As we wait for the doors to slide open, he speaks. “To answer your earlier question, you look more than all right. You look amazing.” The doors open, and he gestures for me to go first. As I walk out, I hear him add in a low voice, “Better than I’ll ever deserve.”

The car Sin arranged drops us off at a restaurant called The Warehouse. When we walk in and Sin gives his name to the host for our reservation, he turns to me, “What do you think? It’s the hottest spot in Lexington right now.”

“It’s really cool,” I lie, plastering an excited look on my face. I’d been hoping we’d be having dinner at a place similar to the ones Sin chose for our tutoring sessions—cozy and private. This place has trendy, scored-concrete floors and high industrial ceilings that cause the chatter of the patrons in the packed restaurant and the DJ music to echo loudly. There will be no quiet, whispered seductions happening here.

We follow the host to a private area away from the main seating. My hopes rise. Maybe Sin requested a quieter spot for us. The host opens the door and ushers us into a room full of Sin’s friends. I look around at the conjoined tables of probably forty people. Most of them I recognize from the crowd that hangs around him at Thurston. Mercer is here too, sitting next to a very good-looking, dark-haired man who seems to be in his late twenties.

The room breaks out in cheers at Sin’s arrival. “Let the party begin,” he yells, strolling in and downing a shot one of his friends hands to him, leaving me standing alone in the doorway.

I realize a lot of hard truths in an instant. When Sin told me he’d take me to Freedom Fest as a reward for passing my driver’s exam, he didn’t mean a fun, intimate weekend away for just the two of us. He meant he’d let me tag along on the edges while he partied with the people who really belong in his life.

My plans to seduce him were ridiculous. The nights I touched myself in front of my window, had Sin really been there watching in the shadows? Or were they just the fantasies of a pathetic virgin?

I try pasting a smile on my face. I don’t want anyone, especially Sin, to see my disappointment. To realize the foolish dreams I had that I was more than just his stepbrother.

“Excuse me,” a waiter carrying a large tray of drinks gives me an irritated look, and I realize I’m still standing smack middle of the entrance. “Sorry,” I murmur and find an open chair at the mostly empty table in the corner. I sit down and smile at the couple sitting next to me who are staring moonily at each other. They look at me blankly and then start kissing.

The seat gives me a vantage point of the entire table. Of course, Sin is in the middle holding court. Mercer is next to him. They look perfect as they slam back shots together, arms casually wrapped around each other. Sin’s haughty, golden good looks matched with Mercer’s dark-haired, artsy runway model vibe.And you thought you could compete with that?My inner voice taunts me.

Beside them, the sexy older man is staring daggers at both of them, while Mercer is pointedly ignoring him, and Sin seems to be enjoying egging him on.

The waiter drops off more drinks, including water for me, and then starts setting down small plates of food and explains what they are and tells us to enjoy.

I use my fork to try to spear one of the horseradish-cured pieces of smoked salmon, but it’s stolen away by the couple next to me who share it between them. I shrug and try for the snapper crudo, but it’s snatched away, too, by the girl across from me, who is complaining that her plastic surgeon has limited her filler appointments. Each course is the same. I can’t seem to master the Hunger Game skills needed for small plate dining. Later, I’m glad of it when I look over to see Mercer leaning over and kissing Sin full on the lips. If I’d had any food in my stomach, I would have lost it right there.

I don’t think the night can get worse, but it does. After dinner, we all pile into two passenger vans that take us to a nightclub. There’s a line around the block to get in, but Sin and Mercer lead us to the front of the line where the doorman opens up the velvet rope and ushers us in, and then has a hostess take us to an upstairs area that’s guarded and roped off for VIPs.

I’d been excited for this experience, but here, practically by myself in a large group of people, the music is too loud, and the flashing lights are giving me a headache. I can’t help myself from seeking out Sin, who’s with Mercer, sitting at a table, their heads down as they snort up lines of cocaine.

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