Page 9 of Sin

I sit there looking at the screen for a long time. At all that money. Then, slowly, I extend my hand out, palm up, and he slaps his phone on it.

“Did you know I was born in Chicago and lived there with my dad until he died?” I ask.

“I did know that,” he says.

I nod my head as I type information into his phone. “Then you probably also know that Mom lived in Lexington, Kentucky, and I only spent a few weeks out of the year with her, sometimes not even that if she was busy.”

He shuffles in his seat. “I don’t see what this has to do with anything.”

I look up at him. “Oh, trust me, it has a lot to do with everything,” I assure him, then resume my typing. “Keep listening.”

Probably realizing he’s not going to get what he wants until he gives in and lets me finish my little monologue, he rests back in his seat and motions for me to continue.

“Anyway. Right after the funeral, I get in my mom’s car thinking we’re going back to my dad’s house. It wasn’t until my mom got on the highway and I tell her she’s going the wrongway, that she informs me we aren’t going back to Dad’s place. That we were going to Lexington.”

I take a deep breath. Even though that day was more than five years ago, I can still feel how lost and alone I felt when I learned I’d never go back to the only place I’d ever called home.

“I didn’t get to go through my dad’s stuff and keep anything to remember him by. I didn’t get to say goodbye to my friends I’d known since I was in kindergarten, or to Buffy, my calico cat, who mom took to the shelter because she said she was allergic to pet dander.”

“Cassi—”

I don’t let him stop me. I just barrel on with my story. I’m not sure I could stop even if I wanted to; I’ve kept it in for so long. “I hated Lexington. It was a total culture shock from Chicago, and the kids there liked to bully the northerner with the thrift-store clothes who liked to read way too much and always had to carry an inhaler around with him. It was really bad, but I just kept telling myself I was lucky that my mom came for me. That she might as easily have abandoned me the way she did my cat.

Then, like eight months later, she and a man I’d never met pick me up from school in a chauffeured limousine, and I’m told to sit up front with the driver while they ride in the back all the way to Nashville. That time, I didn’t even get a suitcase packed up for me, but I tried to make the best of it. I tried to make her happy and fit into a whole new, strange lifeagain.” I look up from his phone and twist toward him.“You know what, though?” I ask.

“What?” Sin asks carefully, maybe knowing how close to breaking I am.

“This time, my whole world turning upside down wasn’t so bad. Sure, no matter how hard I tried, Mom didn’t seem to care about me very much. Your father was distant and mean,the house with all its long halls and hidden alcoves was super creepy, but I started to think that I was lucky because—” I pause and take another deep breath, readying myself for the truth I’m about to admit to him.

“Because why?” he demands.

“Because I had you, Sin.” I give up and stop fighting the emotions that threaten to choke me. “Because you were in my life.”

Across the console from me, Sin tenses. I wish he weren’t wearing his sunglasses so I could see his reaction.

“I felt a connection to you right away. Sad thing is,” I give a chuckle that sounds too much like a sob, “I thought you felt connected to me, too. Even though you were older and way cooler than me, you hung out with me and didn’t mind me tagging along with you all summer while our parents were on their honeymoon. You even took care of me when I had my asthma attacks. I thought we were close, and I hadn’t felt close to anyone since my dad died.”

Sin takes in my words, his body completely still except for the steady tap of his hand on the steering wheel.

“But then, when they came back, you made your father send me away to Bellmore. I blamed myself for screwing things up with my new stepbrother. I was too needy. I followed you around too much. I shouldn’t have wanted y—” I cut myself off and hurriedly move on. “And every summer I came back thinking I could fix it. Fix us…but this year I’d given up. I wasn’t going to come back.”

Sin’s head shoots up in surprise.

“I was going to start working toward a future that couldn’t be taken away from me by you or my mother’s whims. Then, like clockwork, two days ago Gideon totally demolishes my plans and calls me back home, and the stupid thing is, I didn’t even question his orders. I just hopped a plane and came home toNashville because a stupid, foolish part of me was glad Gidon called me back. I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could find that connection we had that summer and be—” I fumble for the word, and in the end pick the safest, if not most accurate description of the bond I wanted with him, “Brothers again.”

I laugh and shake my head at my naivety, “And less than twenty-four hours home and you’re bribing me to leave again.” I shrug. “But I guess this time there’s money.” I let a bitterness into my voice that I’d fought off for so long.

“Then you’ll take the offer?” Sin prods coolly as if I hadn’t just spent the last twenty minutes baring myself to him.

I let out a long, defeated breath. “Unlock the car door and I’ll hit send,” I tell him.

He nods, and a second later the lock clicks open.

I hit the send button. “Here you go.” I throw his phone back at him. Sin catches it easily and looks down. His forehead creasing as he reads his screen. “Gigi’s Rescue?” he says with confusion.

“It’s a Nashville pet rescue organization,” I inform him. “You just made a very large donation to help shelter animals find their forever homes.” I push open the door of the car and jump out. “I put it in Buffy’s name.”

I practically run out of the garage and just make it out into the covered walkway that leads to the front door.

---