Page 66 of The Lost Art of Finding Where You Belong

Brannal’s lips tipped up, though Perian could see the concern in his eyes, and he knew it wasn’t going to go away. But the other man tugged him closer and kissed him gently, a kiss which Perian happily returned.

“I’m very excited about every inch of you I can see in front of me. And I’mconcernedabout the inches that are under the bandage. Is there a reason you won’t tell me what happened?”

“Can we get in the bath?” Perian asked.

Brannal eyed him. “Do you really think that’s an effective way to change thesubject?”

“I’d like to be naked and wet with you,” Perian told him, truthfully, if a little evasively. “I promise I’ll explain exactly what happened while we’re in the bath. Don’t you need to get ready for your day?”

Brannal grumbled, but he allowed himself to be convinced.

Perian reallydidwant to be naked and wet with the man, but he absolutely had an ulterior motive. Actually, several.

“You smell like horse,” Perian pointed out as the water ran.

Brannal laughed. “Oh, I’m sorry, do you wish I’d stopped and cleaned myself up last night? Maybe waited until this morning?”

“I would never have forgiven you,” Perian said promptly, making Brannal smile again.

“I knew you’d be sleeping,” Brannal confessed, shrugging a bit sheepishly, “but I just couldn’t wait.”

“I’m so glad you didn’t,” Perian confirmed earnestly. “I thought I might have to wait all day today because I knew you were going to be busy. This issomuch better.” Then he frowned as a thought occurred to him. “How did you find me?”

“I checked here first,” Brannal said, shrugging. “When you weren’t here, I went to Molun and Arvus’s rooms. And sure enough, there you were.”

“Was that all right?” Perian asked.

“Why wouldn’t it be all right?” Brannal asked. “It was my suggestion, wasn’t it?”

Perian half-shrugged, half-nodded. “Sometimes reality isn’t quite like an idea. Would you have preferred to have found me here?”

“Well, if you’d been here, I might have been able to get inside you about two minutes earlier than I managed, given I needed to go and fetch you,” Brannal pointed out, “so I would have likedthat.”

This made Perian laugh. Brannal tugged him into his arms again.

“But if you mean am I upset about where I found you, no, I wasn’t. I’m glad you were with them. You made a very appealing picture, as I said last night. You looked cozy, and I much preferred that image to you being lonely.”

Perian smiled at him, wrapping his arms around his waist and leaning further into him. “Thank you.” And then, a sudden, terrible thought occurred to him, and he didn’t know how it hadn’t occurred to him before. “Oh! Did you—?”

But Perian couldn’t finish the thought.

“Did I—?” Brannal asked. “Oh, was I lonely?”

Perian could only nod, realizing with a stomach-wrenching lurch that surprised him that he wouldnot at allprefer the image of Brannal cozy in bed with someone else. No, he would much prefer the image of the man lonely in bed. Which, all right, he recognized immediately that wasn’t acceptable, not when Brannal had been so generous and accepting with Perian. But Brannal washis, and now that he was suddenly confronted with the idea of him being with someone else, he couldn’t—

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Brannal said, arms tightening around Perian. “I can feel your breathing going wild. Perian, I was lonely every night, I promise.”

He shook his head, saying wretchedly, “But that’s not fair. I shouldn’t expect you to do something thatIdidn’t do. I’m not, that’s not—”

Arms tightened around him further, pressing him even closer into Brannal’s skin.

“Hey, calm down, it’s all right. Take deep breaths. Come on.”

Perian’s head was tucked into the crook of Brannal’s shoulder. He made himself follow the rise and fall of that magnificent chest, and gradually, he was able to match his breathing to Brannal’s. Eventually, it felt like he could actually breathe again, like the vise that had clamped his chest had let up and wasn’t pinching so tight.

Finally, embarrassed, he pulled away from the other man. He couldn’t meet his eyes.

“I’m sorry, I’m being ridiculous, I truly didn’t mean—”

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