Page 76 of The Lost Art of Finding Where You Belong

Perian sighed. “Emotions really aren’t logical.”

Renny rolled her eyes, but her expression was more understanding. “I know. I said it was fine to wait for Brannal. And I’m sure he’ll be able to talk some sense into her. Otherwise, I’m going to have to sneak out on my own after all, and we all know that’s going to end badly.”

“I’m sure he’ll be able to talk to her,” Perian agreed. “He’s very good at that.”

She nodded, and she seemed in pretty good spirits, so he wasn’t too worried that she was going to try to sneak out. He was pretty sure Kee wouldn’t be on her side for that one. Sneaking to the gardens was one thing, but trying to ride on her own could really get her hurt, and Perian knew Kee wanted to keep his sister safe more than anything.

Could that be what kept him here? His sister was in danger and so, somehow, when he was supposed to die, he didn’t? It still didn’t make sense to Perian, since their life energy scattered when they died and didn’t retain an essence of self, at least according to everything Perian had been taught. Surely, it would have made its way into their stories and beliefs if some people lingered? But it had been weeks since he’d really doubted Kee was with them.

He wanted a better life for the Prince, of course, but he didn’t know how to achieve that. And they seemed to be managing pretty well, the three of them. Renny’sdesperation and sadness had diminished greatly, and this was what she said they wanted. Maybe that was all they could hope for.

“I hope that you’re able to ride soon,” Perian told her. “Remember not to gallop around the entire castle on the first go.”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s been six years. I’ll be lucky to even rememberhowto gallop, never mind actually doing it. I promise that I’ll be careful so Mother doesn’t ban me from the stables forever.”

Perian laughed. “Good idea. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Have fun with Brannal!” she said as a parting shot.

“Oh, I will,” he promised.

When he emerged from the bushes, it was to find that the Warriors had heard that last bit. They looked entirely amused by this exchange and maybe slightly shocked that he was having it with the twelve-year-old princess.

Well, she started it.

Perian dropped off the basket and blankets, saw that the room was still empty, and decided he would indeed go for a ride to pass the time.

He made his way out to the stables, greeted the stable hand, and got their help to get Prince Horsey saddled and ready. He wondered if his injury had maybe been just what was needed to get Prince Horsey accepting of other people’s touches again. Or was he going to stop tolerating it as soon as Perian could do it all on his own? He supposed they would find out.

He used the mounting blockagainjust because he wasn’t willing to risk he would somehow tear open the stitches and interrupt his plans for Brannal.

“I’m feeling much better overall,” Perian reassured Prince Horsey, who seemed to take that to mean they could go for a proper gallop.

Perian was pretty sure that in addition to being the fiercest, fastest horse he’d ever had the privilege of riding, Prince Horsey was also a mind reader. They flew through the royal park, and Perian’s arm really did seem to be all right, not even a little twinge while he was riding—not that he needed to use the reins, though, because Prince Horsey was smart.

He slowed down and didn’t seem to mind drinking from the river with Perian still on his back, or cropping a bit of grass while Perian sat there.

“I hope this isn’t your way of saying I weigh nothing, and I need to give up my hope of gaining any muscle and being able to better defend myself,” Perian said.

Prince Horsey just kept eating.

“Do you ever want to be anything other than what you are?”

Prince Horsey continued to crop grass, which Perian was pretty sure was an indication that no, he rather liked being a horse, thank you very much, since people fed him apples and carrots and lumps of sugar and oats, and brushed him down, and why would he ever want anything else out of life?

Maybe things were simpler when you were a horse. Or maybe Prince Horsey had a really good sense of self and didn’t let anything shake it. After all, until Perian had come along, he hadn’t let anyone else near him, despite the fact it had inconvenienced him and reduced his ability to gallop, which he clearly loved.

“I’ll try to be more confident,” Perian told Prince Horsey. “I’m confident about a lot of things. But then, just occasionally, I don’t feel so confident anymore. I guess I’m a work in progress. As the doctor reminded me, I’m still young, and there’s still time for me to figure things out.”

Perian didn’t want to give Brannal up, so he was going to focus on the two of them. It might grow and change and need to be merged with other needs and wants later, or it might end up fizzling out—though he couldn’t imagine that right now. Regardless, he would focus on what he cared about most.

And that was, hands down, Brannal.

“I’m really glad we talked this out,” Perian said. “You are an excellent listener, Prince Horsey. I feel much better.”

Prince Horsey brought him back to the stables with another decent gallop but then plenty of time to cool down.

Perian once again got help with unsaddling Prince Horsey and then carefully brushed him and told him what a good horse he was—and maybe mentioned just in passing that if he didn’t want to tell all his horse friends about everything they’d talked about, Perian would really appreciate that. He got a snort from one of the stable hands, but whatever, Perian was all right with that.

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