Page 93 of The Lost Art of Finding Where You Belong

“Do you think I could come too?” he asked.

She nodded, looking happy he’d suggested it again.

Mindful that although Renny meant a great deal to him, there were a lot of people who knew her better, Perian hadn’t wanted to try to force himself somewhere that he might not be wanted. The Queen had granted him permission to have picnics with Renny, and also permission to ride Prince Horsey, but she probably hadn’t imagined any crossover between those two things, certainly not at the beginning.

But he thought he’d given enough time for the picnics and the riding to have become, if not commonplace, at least well established.

It also gave Renny an idea.

“If you’re right near me on Prince Horsey, then maybe Kee could get on him after all! I know it’s not the same, but don’t you think it would be nice?”

This was clearly not addressed to Perian.

There was silence for a moment, and then she said, “He thinks we should try it, but he’s not sure it will work.”

Since that was pretty much how Perian felt about the whole thing, that was fair enough. He knew Renny was trying to offer her brother more opportunities in his very restricted life.

“Let’s try,” Perian agreed. “Tomorrow afternoon? Do you need toask anyone?”

She got a mutinous look in her eye. “Why would I need to ask anyone if I want to invite someone along to ride with me?”

Perian eyed her. “Because you’re the princess and everything gets complicated with you?”

For a moment, it looked like she might lose her temper, and then she gave a little laugh and shrugged.

“I’m not proposing the two of us go gallop off together, although that would be nice. I’d just have company—that isn’t a Mage Warrior or Warrior waiting for me to fall—while I do exactly what I’ve been told to do. It’s fine.”

It was true that adding Perian didn’t materially change what Renny was doing.

“Until tomorrow,” he agreed.

Chapter Seventeen

They packed up soon after, and Perian headed off, really looking forward to the chance to ride with her. He loved the picnics, but it did seem a little bit as though Renny only existed for him within that triangle of hidden space. It would be nice to see her on other occasions.

He got snagged by Nisal for more vats of salve with the doctor, then it was dinner, then it was playafterdinner, and he and Brannal both fell into an exhausted sleep—so exhausted, apparently, that they woke up late and had to rush through their morning ablutions and didn’t even have time for tea before Brannal had to rush off, and Perian headed out only a few minutes later.

He was a little unfocused when training started, and Delana came over to talk to him.

“Do you ever expect to be attacked?” she asked.

“Not at all, and kind of all the time given what’s happened?” he admitted.

She smirked at him. “Are you always ready for an attack?”

“Absolutely not,” he agreed promptly. “That sounds exhausting.”

There wasno wayPerian could be ready for an attack at all times.

She nodded. “Exactly. But an attack could come at any time. What do you do?”

“Panic and hope for the best?” he suggested.

She rolled her eyes. “What doIdo?”

He eyed her and proposed finally, “Not that?”

She smirked. “Good answer. The truth is, you’re right. No one can actually be ready for an attack at every single moment of every day, not even me. I might have more training and a good skill set to deal with an attack when it comes, I might be more aware than your average person, but I’m still not looking for an attack all the time. The important thing is that when the attackdoescome, in that moment, I’m able to push everything else away and focus. I could be having a terrible day. I could be thinking about what I want to eat for dinner because I’m really hungry. But the moment I get attacked, all of those thoughts get shoved to the side, and I concentrate only on the attack. I focus onsurviving, because if I survive, then I can go back to thinking about all those things that were occupying my mind before. They might be the smallest and silliest things or the biggest and most important things, but if I don’t survive the attack, I’m not going to get to think about them again.”

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