Page 23 of Clandestine

“You guys used to be close, yeah?” I whisper.

“Yeah, I get, he’s got priorities and shit. He hasn’t been the same since his girl passed, and who’s to blame him. It fucked him up bad, and his little girl too. I couldn’t imagine.” His tone is low and quiet, and probably the most thoughtful I’ve ever heard him. I’m blaming it on the high he’s probably feeling. But still, he feels human, and as great of a snuggler as Jax is, I can’t help but wish I could hold Colby too.

“Anyway, how was your night, brat?” he asks me. I feel my cheeks burn red, and I bury my face in Jax’s chest to avoid the question, but the fuckhead tickles me instead.

“Okay, stop!” I yell, far too loud. “It was amazing. Syd, she’s amazing.”

“Oooooh,” Jax teases me, poking at my ribs again. “My girlfriend has a girlfriend, huh?”

“I’m not your girlfriend.” My eyes roll, and I shove at his chest, crossing my arms over mine.

“You could be,” Colby says matter of factly, not looking up at me as he re-lights the end of the joint, bringing it to his lips to inhale and stoke the embers back to life. I watch the red glow and consider his words carefully.

“But what does that mean? All of this?” I gesture my hands wildly.

“It means, we belong to you, and you belong to us. All of us.”

I’m at a loss for words, so I sit quietly and ponder, feeling the high seep into my extremities. Goddamn, I’m a lightweight these days, but that doesn’t stop me from taking the joint back on the next pass, holding the puff in my lungs for even longer this time, mostly as an excuse to stay quiet.

“You don’t have to decide anything right now,” Jax says, but the look in Colby’s eyes says something different entirely.

SEVENTEEN

COLBY

Jackson is a liar. Maybe not intentionally, but I selfishly want her to decide right now. I want her to say yes to this. To us, to letting the three of us always take care of her. To letting Jackson and I finally love her the way we were always meant to and building the blatantly obvious connection and chemistry that she shares with Sydnee.

It could be easy. The four of us, going on tours, living our lives, finally having a reason to keep doing this shit again. The girls and the drugs stopped doing it for me early on in my career. The music has been worth sticking around for, but adding Hale to the mix… I can’t let her go again. The connection we share, it may not be okay to most, but I don’t care. There wasn’t a day in my life that I saw her as a sister. She’s always been mine.

Mine to ruin, mine to take, mine tokeep.

Maybe we lost ourselves along the way, and maybe I’m too damn high to be thinking this deeply.

“But decide anyway. Be with us, the three of us. Let us take care of you, let us be yours in every sense.” My lips form the words too quickly, and Hale’s head whips in my direction.

“Is it that simple?” she whispers, her voice barely audible to me. I scoot myself across the lounge chair, close enough to touch her.

“It is. It can be.” My palm makes its way to her face, stroking one large finger down her cheek just to feel her skin beneath mine. Her breath catches, and her eyes meet mine.

“I don’t know. We said…” She pauses and bites her lip. “We said this was a one-time thing.”

“No, you said that. We never agreed to let you go,” Jackson says surely, his arms clutching tighter around her body.

Blame it on the weed or the way the lights dance across her sleepy eyes, but I can't look away from her. Maybe out of fear that once I do, the connection that we’ve shared will be over, the mirage broken.

“Okay.” Haley’s agreement is soft, causing my heart to begin pumping double time. I think it’s trying to escape, break free, and crawl home to her, to its owner and keeper.

“Okay?” I barely breathe, the two of us holding on to Hale so tight.

“We can try?—”

My lips land against hers, pulling her slightly from Jackson’s lap to cup her face between both of my hands. I try to give her all of me. My devotion, my praise, through this kiss. She breathes deeply, and I inhale the scent of mint from her.

She’s perfect. She’s perfect as my tongue pushes past her lips, and she opens her mouth wider for my exploration. I could devour her in one sitting, but Jackson pulls her from me. Their lips tangle together instantly, so naturally, and damn, they look good together. She whimpers against him, and my eyes follow their bodies to see his groin pressed tightly against her.When she releases a deep moan, he pulls her plump bottom lip between his teeth.

The sight of them causes goosebumps along my skin. As jealous as I am that another man is causing those sighs to fall from her lips, I also relish the idea that both of us will bring her pleasuretogethersoon enough.

Jackson makes his way to her throat, biting and sucking at her tender flesh when, suddenly, Hale turns on me.

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