Page 58 of Hot to Go

He stops, trying to hold in his laughter. ‘Are you mocking my baguettes?’ I joke.

‘Never,’ he says, those blue eyes far too intense again. And then he exhales gently, grinning, almost as if to composehimself. He walks over and I put my staple gun in his hands, our fingers brushing momentarily. Does he feel that too? Am I imagining this?

‘I’ll remember to return this.’

‘It’s all good. Come knock whenever you need help.’

‘Will do, Suzie.’

I don’t know what we do now? Should we hug? I don’t quite know so I put a hand out to wave to him but I put it a little too high and he comes to high-five it. I panic and move my arm, and he ends up putting a hand to my shoulder. We freeze, his hand resting there. I flinch but when I look up at him, I read a softness in his eyes, his hand doesn’t move.

‘Suzie…’

A jangly ringtone suddenly pierces the moment and I literally run to my desk to answer my phone. I look at the caller. Paul. I stare at the screen for a really long time. No, not now. Not ever.

‘Don’t you want to get that?’ he asks me.

I look up at Charlie and sigh. ‘It’s just spam. Let it ring.’

He pauses as my ringtone keeps sounding. ‘I’ll leave you to it. Merci beaucoup, Mademoiselle.’

I don’t know what to tell him. It’s like the wiring in my brain is all tangled. My phone still glowing on my desk tells me that much. ‘De nada, Señor Shaw.’

He walks away, leaving me standing in my classroom, turning to look back at me one last time.

Charlie

‘Oh, he’s a little angel. He would never do that, he’s such a nice boy. You must have mistaken him for someone else,’ a teacher in the staffroom mimics. ‘No, your kid’s a gobby, disrespectful twat, sort him out.’

I must admit, I do like the staffroom here, the sheer bedlamof this large space, the way I can lose myself listening to all the different conversations. It’s been a super quick way to learn who the troublemakers are, who’s dated who, and all the quirks and personalities of the different members of staff. There are the swearers (hello, History), that one teacher who thinks he’s down with all the kids, the cynics, the Diet Coke addicts. I especially like Kim in art who told me she labels her milk as breast milk so no one will steal it. My staff buddy, Ed, invites me here every Thursday for a catch up which usually involves some sort of cake. The man wasn’t joking. He can bake and that Mia girl he’s married to is super lucky.

‘So Seville soon?’ Ed asks, passing his Tupperware over my way. Today it’s some sort of rhubarb and custard crumble slice and it’s bloody magnificent.

‘Yep, the school trip beckons. Pray for me,’ I say.

‘I will get my rosary beads out.’ I like Ed. He is very dry but has kept to his word with this staff buddy thing and regularly sends me emails. I hope that whatever length of time I spend here, he may become a friend of sorts. I just need to learn how to broach that without looking too keen. Asking someone to be your friend is almost as hard as asking someone out sometimes. We’re not in a school playground. I mean, we are but not like that. ‘Who else is going?’

‘Lee, Fraser from German and then Jackie from HR and her husband, Mark?’ I inform him.

‘Mark the gatekeeper. He’s good value on a trip. We took him to the Science Museum once and he spins a good yarn. On a one-hour coach trip, he managed to tell the kids he was once in Fleetwood Mac, scored a winning goal for Borussia Dortmund in the seventies and once got arrested for stealing a zebra.’

I laugh but the truth is I need a Mark, I need this trip. I need a break from the emotional chaos I’ve felt since seeing Suzie. Even though school trips are usually anything but peaceful,and jam-packed with activity, it will be the escape and distraction I need.

‘And how’s everything with the Year 8s now? Sorted?’

He speaks of a class I have on Tuesday afternoons straight after lunch when they’ve consumed what can only be a full bag of sugar each.

‘Reset my expectations, changed the seating plan, threw one out the window…’

‘Scare tactics like that are a winner. Light beatings always help too.’

I told you. Dry. I smile. ‘Noted.’

‘Oh, I spoke to Julie on data and she’ll send you an email. And you asked about detentions. It’s basically up to you and your department.’

‘I tend to set mine on fish-and-chip day in the canteen since that gets them even angrier,’ a voice intervenes. It’s Beth, Suzie’s cousin, who to be fair I haven’t spoken to a lot since I arrived here. She’s kept her distance and I don’t know if this means she disapproves of me. She helps herself to one of Ed’s cakes and sits down on the lime green sofa to join us. ‘Carlos…’ she says, in my direction.

Ed laughs. ‘Of course, you know Beth because…’ He waggles his finger around between the two of us and I look curiously over at Ed, who it would seem has terrible poker face. He realises and suddenly appears apologetic. ‘I’m married to Mia and Mia thrives off gossip and she and Beth are in English and all they do over there is just chit-chat. Slackers department, really.’

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