Page 59 of Hot to Go

Beth narrows her eyes at Ed but turns to me awkwardly. ‘Sorry,’ Beth says. ‘We haven’t had a chance to chat.’ I wonder whether I should be afraid. I can’t read her look. I can imagine all those cousins are quite a protective force to be reckoned with. ‘I just can’t believe it’s you in this school. That bloke from holiday. We were all starting to think we hallucinated youbecause of the heat and now you’re here. You honestly had no idea who she was? That she was a teacher?’ she asks me. ‘I mean what are the odds, Ed?’

‘Minuscule,’ he replies.

Her tone sounds suspicious and I have no idea how to counter that. ‘How much has Suzie told you about me then?’ I’ve only been in this staffroom for a few weeks but I know far too much about people I don’t really know. I know there’s a maths teacher called Zoe who’s getting married next summer and that Robert in Science has an awful time with his ingrown toenails.

‘Well, your name isn’t Carlos. It’s Charlie.’

‘This is true.’

‘You’re not good at decorating your classroom,’ Beth adds.

‘That is also not a lie.’

‘And you’ve stolen her best stapler.’

‘LIES! It was on loan, I am no thief.’

Ed laughs but Beth can’t keep eye contact. I realise that beyond these small details she knows far too much about me. If we rewind this, this is the same person who I met on a bench in a Mallorcan plaza, the same person who saw me after I’d had sex with her cousin and she most likely heard all about that sex. It was a girls’ holiday – I saw the empty wine bottles in the kitchen, and their brazen unsubtlety when I first arrived at the villa. Suzie most likely spoke about my penis, all the moves, all the positions. My face goes a little hot at the thought of what Beth knows, and how much Ed and Mia know as a consequence.

‘Do you like her?’ Beth asks me. The question catches me off guard, but I like how she doesn’t beat around the bush.

‘Why? What has she said?’

‘She’s said things,’ Beth says. In an instant, I realise that if Suzie spoke to her cousins about the good sex then it’s likely she’s told them about the bad sex too, which is a tad mortifying.The way Beth has flared her nostrils at me lets me know the answer to that question. I’m not too sure I like the fact this has been broadcast. I’ve told no one for the shame of it. How was it described to her? Was this done for laughs? Ed looks between both of us.Mate, you’re married. You’re safe. I bet no one in here has gossiped about your sex life.

‘Things…’ I repeat.

Beth realises that maybe she’s given too much away. ‘Well, it wasn’t Suzie. It was my sister, Lucy. Suzie told her what happened and…’

‘So, it’s a family discussion, is it?’ I ask. I really hope this isn’t on a WhatsApp group. Or they were at least kind about my penis.

‘What happened then?’ Ed asks casually, biting into another one of his baked slices.

‘Oh,’ Beth says, looking at me, knowing the only honourable thing to do in this case is lie. ‘They went on a date and it kind of…fell flat?’

I don’t think I like her intonation at the end of that.

‘That’s a shame,’ Ed says, kindly. ‘Is it the stress of the new job?’

I wave my hands about. ‘No, no, no…not flat like that…just the chemistry was a bit off.’

‘Oh, then I apologise,’ Ed says, then frowns. ‘But from the way Mia described it, didn’t you two have pretty acrobatic sex in Mallorca?’

Beth chokes a little and I feel my face heat up again. I am starting to wonder how much Suzie told people about our little dalliance. I don’t mind good reviews, but how does Ed know to use the word acrobatic?

‘Well, it wasn’t Cirque de Soleil but…yeah, we had a nice time in Mallorca.’

‘But since meeting here?’

‘No somersaults.’ Not even a forward roll, mate. But despitehow that went, I see the spark. I feel it when I stand next to her on a desk, smiling, putting up bunting, jesting at the way she names her pens. But then I think back to her flat, I think of the way she flinched when I touched her shoulder and I have no idea what’s happening. It’s like doing a forward roll but ending up facing the other way and not knowing how you achieved it.

‘She also told me about your family situation,’ Beth says a little more sincerely, and I tense up. Ed doesn’t seem overtly curious so I will assume he’s also in on this as they both give me tight-lipped smiles to show their approval of my character. Joke about bad sex, good sex and anything you like about me, but the fact they’ve gossiped about the saddest part of my life and my siblings hits a protective big brother nerve. Beth can tell this doesn’t sit easy with me. She nudges Ed who offers me more cake. I don’t turn that down. ‘I’m sorry. That was insensitive of me.’

‘Please don’t apologise,’ I say, dusting crumbs off my trousers. ‘Your cousin likes to talk though, eh?’

Beth immediately sits up to defend her cousin’s honour. ‘No more than any girl would, when getting advice from family and friends.’ That’s fine but I hope she knows that I’ve told no one. Not even Max. I was gentlemanly, discreet. I kept all of the emotion and confusion to myself. Beth can sense I’m not too impressed by Suzie’s inability to do the same. ‘You’ve got to understand, she’s fragile. She’s had a super tough year.’

I pause when she says this, realising that Suzie has not told me any of that. I’ve just seen a sweet, confident woman with absolute no backstory whatsoever. Then I remember the name Paul was mentioned in her flat. An old flame perhaps?

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