Page 74 of Hot to Go

‘Maybe if we sleep on it together, our combined weight might scare them off,’ he suggests.

‘Is that a scientific method of prevention then?’

‘Yes.’ He kneels up. ‘We can do this as fast or as slow as you want though? We can top and tail, I can sleep on the floor if that would make you more comfortable?’

I shake my head, appreciating his good manners. I pat the space next to me. ‘Let’s share.’ This is the moment, right? Lying on the same mattress, a singular pillow and a shared space where we can have sex. The sort of sex we’ve craved all day, we can recreate Mallorca and I can feel him inside me, I am aching to feel him inside me.

He takes off his shirt and I look at the outline of his shoulders. He comes to sit next to me, our bodies not quite touching yet. ‘What a day,’ he says, his eyes heavy, exhaling loudly. He rests his head on the pillow and invites me to curl into him, to rest in his arms. I find a space, our legs meeting and he finds a space just above my hip to rest a hand. I feel the warmth of his breath on my neck as he goes to kiss it, just below my hairline.

‘I like this,’ he says, sleepily. And I will admit to liking it too, to feeling safe in his arms, like this is a good place to be. I adore the feel of his skin against mine.

‘I hope you don’t snore?’ I whisper. ‘Or steal the covers, not that there are any covers. It’s basically a sheet.’ I should stop talking because I think talking is what killed it last time. The fan in the corner of the room still rotates and the breeze is still soothing, making the curtain dance around the window. ‘Do you think if we move around a lot it may just crush all the bed bugs?’ I ask. It was a bit of unorthodox way to initiate sex but I’m hoping he finds it funny. I can literally feel his groin pressed up against me. I think about him slipping my knickers down, sliding his fingers over me, me putting a hand to his chin, as he whispers absolute filth into my ears. Charlie stillhasn’t answered. Instead, his lips are against the back of my neck but I can feel the steady stream of him breathing against me. ‘Charlie? Are you asleep?’ I don’t know why I ask this because if he is asleep then he won’t answer. I know what’s in his shorts is asleep. But I don’t mind. I like this, quiet space where the energy just lets us rest for the moment, it lets us become entwined in each other. ‘Sleep tight…don’t let the bed bugs bite…’ I laugh at my own joke. I’m half glad he’s not conscious to hear that.

‘Ummm… yeah… wha… no…’

Oh no, maybe he did hear it. ‘What was that, Charlie?’

I don’t think I can cope with a sleep talker, I’ll think him possessed half the time.

‘Put the shaving foam down.’

Well, maybe he isn’t possessed. I giggle quietly. In this in-between sleep, he also rubs his feet together. It makes a strange noise like he’s trying to start a fire. I smile and close my eyes, feeling like I’m at peace, like I could fall asleep very, very quickly.

Charlie

Max always tells me there’s a test to know if you really love someone or not, and that’s when you wake up in the morning, and the sight of them and the smell of their morning breath doesn’t completely scare you. With his fiancée, Amy, he says it happened when they first went camping together in the New Forest. In his own words, Amy woke up looking like the Gruffalo. She swore profusely at how cold and rainy it was and then got out of her sleeping bag, threw a hoodie on, opened the tent up and ran into a bush to go and have a wee. He said he lay there, laughing at her and knew he was in love.

I look over at Suzie now and see her curled up on the bed like a little kitten. Her dark wavy hair is swept over her face soshe just looks like a massive hairball with a body, her knees curled up towards her, those red bumps on her ankle still visible. She also drools when she sleeps. I woke with a very wet arm, assuming it to be sweat but no. I just laughed and inhaled her hair which smelt vaguely of sweat and coconut. It felt like I was just where I needed to be.

I head over to the window and peer out on to the street. The kids eventually crashed and with any luck they’ll sleep in. Outside, the twilight hangs in the air, a few cyclists and people shuffling up and down the cobbles, a cooler air sweeping through the window that is mildly refreshing. One thing I always liked about Seville was that the sun rose and set late so it felt like the day was framed perfectly. I slid out of bed about half an hour ago to calm myself down in the shower. Is this because I woke up with a raging hard-on? Yes. And it didn’t feel like the ideal way for her to wake up, feeling that in her back, thinking I’m obsessed with sex. I’m just obsessed with her. Enough to want her to wake up comfortably and not feeling mortified that she left my forearm sticky with her saliva.

I hope this works. I hope she won’t hate me in a few seconds. I squat down next to the bed. ‘Suzie? Suzie?’

‘Huh, shit. What is it? Is it the children? Are they still fucking up?’ she moans. I laugh as she tries to clear the hair from her face, a line of dried drool leading down from her right lip. ‘Maybe we can call the police and they can just arrest them all,’ she says, her eyes still closed. ‘Is it my turn to go and patrol the halls?’

‘No…it’s about seven in the morning.’

She still hasn’t opened her eyes. ‘Then why are we up? I thought breakfast wasn’t until nine.’

‘I had an idea,’ I say, bending over and kissing her elbow, the one curled and supporting her face.

‘You’re a morning sex person, aren’t you?’ she mumbles. ‘I like you but I also like sleep. Come back to bed.’

The invitation is tempting but I’m hoping she might be open to the alternative too. She stretches out in bed and I see a slice of stomach and the curve of her pelvic bone as she does. She picks at the corners of her eyes. ‘I must look a state?’ she says sheepishly.

‘It’s just a bit of sleepy dust…’ I say.

‘What did you call it?’ she says, smiling.

‘What do you call it?’

‘Eye bogeys,’ she says, laughing.

‘That’s…’

‘Gross?’ We both laugh as she smacks her gums together, trying to wake up. ‘What was this grand idea then that involves us being up at this ungodly hour?’ she asks, finally opening her eyes.

‘Fancy a walk?’

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