Page 96 of Hot to Go

‘I’ve got some for Miss too, is she in?’ Lola asks.

I pause. I’m almost scared to go and have a look. Not because of the room, the note and the giant flamenco dancer but because of what I need to tell her, what I need to say.

‘Maybe just check her room. If not, leave it on her desk?’ I tell her.

Lola looks at me curiously. ‘You alright, Sir?’

I can’t even begin to answer that. ‘Yeah. Thank you for this, Lola. Really.’

‘De nada,’ she says, posing as she goes, taking Josh by the hand as she leaves the room. I hear them bound down the corridor and then a few moments later a familiar female voice sounds out, telling them how thoughtful it is and how she loves that particular brand of wine. As I hear her voice, my pulse races. I close my eyes, envisaging all of it. Seville, Mallorca and just all those meandering steps that have led us here. ‘Bye, Miss! Au revoir!’ I hear Lola say, as she heads down the stairs. And then I stand at my desk, waiting, hearing her footsteps in the corridor. Why is my heart beating so fast?

And as soon as I see her, I realise I’ve done something really, really stupid.

‘Morning, Sir,’ she says, waiting to be welcomed in. She’s in a navy midi dress, tights and ankle boots, her dark hair swept back from her face.

‘It’s like a swarm of elves have been in here…’ I tell her.

‘Too much?’ she says, hesitantly stepping into the room.

There’s a silence between us as she looks at me, wondering. I take a deep breath. ‘I need to say something. I…’

‘CHARLIE! SUZIE!’ a voice booms into the room. Before Ihave the chance to tell her, Lee appears in the doorway with a young man in chinos and a very well pressed checked shirt. ‘How are we all? How was the rest of your half terms? All recovered from Seville, I hope?’

Suzie looks at me, trying to work out the energy, the confusion in my face. ‘So Diego, this is Charlie who you’ll be replacing,’ Lee says, ‘And I mean, look at this room you’ll be moving into, this is so fantastic.’

I see Suzie’s face fall, and she glances between Lee and myself as if she can’t process what he just said. Diego looks at the flamenco dancer then back to me. Now is not the time to tell this person that I did not make that myself.

‘I’m sorry…’ Suzie says breathlessly. ‘Replace?’

‘Oh, did you not say anything yet, Charlie?’ Lee tells me. ‘We’re part of a scheme of schools in South London that take on language apprentices. Diego is going to do some training with us and Charlie is going to help out at another school for a bit.’

‘A bit?’ she says.

‘Just the half term,’ I tell her softly.

‘Oh…’

Lee looks between the two of us, realising that he’s broken the news before I had the chance to explain, that whatever he witnessed in Seville may have come to an abrupt end. ‘Diego…come with me and I’ll show you where we keep the dictionaries.’

He leads him out of the room as Suzie stands there, mute, looking a little lost and overwhelmed. I rub my face with my hands, feeling distraught to see her so upset.

‘Suzie…’ I whisper, watching tears fill her eyes.

She puts a hand up. ‘Don’t. Please. When was this decided?’

‘I knew about the scheme and asked Lee about it in half term,’ I admit, remembering the turmoil I’d been in when that email arrived from her ex at the worst possible time. I knew thathe was lashing out, that what he said wasn’t true. That he was a wanker. But it also seemed clear that it was all too complicated, that Suzie needed to draw a line under her marriage before we even tried to work out what we had. We needed space, we needed time, that was what my rational head was thinking. But seeing her now in front of me, my heart feels very different. I think my rational head might be a proper idiot.

‘I got an email from Paul,’ I tell her, knowing I need to be straight with her.

‘An email?’ she says, eyebrows raised. ‘Did he…what did he say?’

‘He wasn’t kind about you…He was telling me to steer clear.’

She puts her hands over her face in horror and then laughs under her breath. ‘Did he tell you he cheated on me?’

‘No.’

‘But you believed whatever crap he did tell you?’ she says, her tone changing.

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