Page 44 of Maddox

Grueling work kept my mind as well as my body exhausted.

I took a long pull of the cold liquid, finally feeling the heat inside the apartment, but not entirely from the extreme outside temperature.

Fuck.

Keeping my distance from her was in my best interest. The sooner I deposited her safely in Washington, the sooner I could shut another door and return to my life.

The thought weighing heavily on my mind, I pulled the chain on the overhead ceiling fan. At least we could have some circulation.

“Can I at least look outside?” she asked.

“Go for it. Just stay in the shadows.”

She half laughed as if she’d never been forced to stay in anyone’s shadow before. I bet. She was the kind of woman who could walk into a room and not only command attention, but respect.

And she wouldn’t even be trying.

I’d gone out with my share of prima donnas at the request, or I should say demand of my father. It had been his strong hope that I’d continue making my way up the Navy ladder, serving my time overseas then returning home to marry a beautiful but plastic woman from an affluent family, one that my father was friends with, and spawn an heir.

My dad was always looking for ways to improve his bottom line. It was funny that being around Charmaine had me thinking about various aspects of my past. Over the past few years, that certainly hadn’t served me well.

The single night I’d spent in a Podunk town jail had been a stark wake-up call.

Another story not to be repeated.

I thought about what Gray had told me. Her arrests were public, both occurring over three years before. From what I could tell about her, the years hadn’t tempered her in the least.

Amused, I swallowed more of the beer while she stood to the side of the window, the foot of one leg propped against the thigh of her other, her head leaning against the wall.

The strange silence between us was no longer welcoming.

“How did you get this place?” she asked.

“A buddy of mine.”

“From whatever war you were in.” She wasn’t asking a question. Her eyes seemed glazed over, the woman embroiled in the kind of misery I knew too well.

It would eventually eat her alive.

“Yeah, from the war. He’s trustworthy.” I hadn’t paid attention to the cut on her lip. Both were swollen, a slight spot of dried blood remaining. A strange need to kiss her created a strong desire, which was out of the question. Even if part of the reason was to lick away her pain.

That wasn’t possible. Maybe time would help. Maybe it would cause the mental anguish to fester. That was entirely up to her and not something I could do a damn thing about.

“Okay.”

I noticed she was fiddling with the bottle in her hand, digging at the label with a single nail. The aimless action was a way of allowing her control.

“You need to eat something.”

“I’m not hungry,” she said, far too adamantly.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Charmaine. In fact, you did what you thought was right.”

“Someone will need to explain the meaning of doing something right to me at some point. I tried. That much I know. I felt utter conviction and thought I was capable of keeping us out of danger.”

“How?”

Her laugh was bitter. “Because of my fabulous reputation. I’m certain you discovered the kind of person I was, or I guess Ishould say I am, being a thorough man and all, but I’m certain you barely dipped your toe into the icy water. I’ve been doing nothing but chasing rainbows. Toss in a few unicorns. My belief in right versus wrong was my sword and you bet I wielded it with honor, not only willing but eager to die by it if necessary.” She turned her head, remaining in the same position. “I was the one rescued by a big, strapping SEAL while my friends were the ones who died on the sharp blade. For that, I’ll never forgive myself.”

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