Page 57 of Maddox

One of us. ‘The only easy day was yesterday.’ A saying so many SEALs recited when things got tough. Damon had been one of them. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good.” Kage’s hesitation continued.

“What?” I finally asked.

“I’m curious. Are you still dreaming, you know, about the shit that went down?”

My teeth were gritted, the force enough my jaw ached. “Almost every night.”

“Do you ever wonder if we’ll be free of the nightmares?”

I grabbed my beer and continued staring down at the street. “No. We deserve them.” Almost as soon as I closed my eyes, an ugly memory swept in.

“Quiet,” our commander said as we approached the group of buildings. The light was dim, only the bright moon to guide us over treacherous terrain. I glanced at Kage, nodding to tell him I was ready. Our advance had taken longer than we’d hoped. Even the night vision goggles had been more of a hindrance than anything.

Commander Jenkins motioned for the two of us to advance. We flanked the sides of the door leading into where we’d been told an Afghani army chief responsible for thousands of deaths during sweeping massacres was holed up.

I glanced behind me at Stone as our commander sent another group around to the back of the building.

I turned my head, the stream of moonlight catching Kage’s evil grin. There was nothing better than taking down the enemy. That’s what we were trained to do.

“We go on three,” Commander Jenkins instructed in a harsh whisper.

With a determined look on his face, Kage took a step back. He’d been tasked to kick the door open.

Suddenly a flash caught my attention. Just as Kage kicked in the door, I sensed a presence. There was no time to call out, no chance of warning anyone this could be a fucking setup. I reacted on instinct, lunging forward into the darkness as the others followed orders.

Popping sounds suddenly occurred from every angle. I dropped and rolled, firing off several shots into the darkness.

The interior had been breached, several of the SEALs rushing inside.

This was meant to be about capturing the leader of the insurgents, a brutal man who’d taken out one of our own.

Yet as the bullets continued to fly, there was no doubt we’d been brought here to be eliminated.

Boom!

With my hand clenched around the almost empty beer bottle, I leaned forward, gasping for air. I’d believed my actions to be correct, attempting to save the men I’d sworn to die for. Instead, I’d ignored orders and in doing so, I’d destroyed trust. I’d killed a half dozen of the bastards who’d set the fire, determined to bring us to our knees.

But at the end of the mission, that hadn’t mattered.

I’d lost my way.

There wasn’t a day that had gone by that I hadn’t retraced my steps or endured night sweats about what had been called a reckless decision.

Would I do it again?

I just didn’t know.

When I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder, I sucked in my breath.

“You’re a good man, Maddox. Thank you for saving my life.”

Charmaine’s voice penetrated every part of me, yet the ache remained. “That’s where you’re wrong.”

“No,” she whispered and leaned down, pressing a kiss against my cheek. “This is one thing I’m not wrong about. You are my hero.”

CHAPTER 16

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