Page 13 of Poseidon's Island Flower

“I think this is a bad idea. I think I should return to the sea,” I said.

“Is that what you really want, Poseidon? To leave your mate here on earth? You know she’s on land somewhere. And if you don’t find her, she will grow old, and you will never see her,” Athena replied.

Maybe I didn’t need to see her. The only reason I was searching was…to see if she was alright. Make her happy from afar. Supply her monetary gifts, make sure she is well fed, be the silent supporter.

I was a mess.

Because I wanted her too. I just felt like I was unworthy.

If she was having a good life, if she was happy with another human that could make her happy, I wouldn’t need to do anything and could let her be. I would at least be able to tell my children what to look for in a bond.

I didn’t tell Zeus or Athena that, they would reprimand me and tell me to mate with her. How could I do that when I couldn’t even touch my own siblings? I can barely leave the safety of my hotel bedroom without feeling knots in my stomach.

It was only a few days ago I could let Silas go back to the sea so he could search for his mate along the shorelines and make sure my creatures stayed safe. He craved his mate; he wanted one much more than me.

I should let him search for his mate first.

I didn’t have any intention of keeping my mate. She would not be attracted to a god that had issues—let alone Poseidon, the sea god that was nothing like the stories humans told.

All the stories were false.

She would be better off without me.

“I’m trying to help him, but he doesn’t take much advice from me,” Zeus snorted. “I told him to keep his muscles. Now look at him. He looks like a tiny frozen fish stick.”

“I see nothing wrong with his appearance,” Athena said thoughtfully. “Not all men have to be large muscle meatheads.”

Zeus scoffed.

“Even though I’m not on the market for some fresh meat, doesn’t mean I don’t know how to lure them in. If I made him attractive, they would come to him! His mate would be all over this.” Zeus licked his finger, pretended to touch me, and made a sizzling noise.

For Fate’s sake.

“How do you know what my mate would like?” I countered. “What if she does not like big muscles?

“I can pose that same question to you, Poseidon. How do you know your mate wouldn’t love you for you?” Athena asked.

Athena, the goddess of wisdom. I felt her powers were unlimited at times. This time she had gone too far, and my body curled in on itself.

“Stop reading my mind, Athena,” I whispered. “That isn’t fair, isn’t right.”

She frowned, leaning forward. “I’m just trying to help, Poseidon. I worry for you, I worry…”

“That I would hurt myself?” I raised my eyebrows. “I would not, because the consequences would be catastrophic to both the waters of earth and Bergarian.”

Zeus blinked, his lips parting. “Poseidon…”

“Let me ask you both. Do you even know how one knows when a god has met their mate? Do I just look at her and know? Do I need to touch her? Could my time in Bergarian be all for naught because I have felt no connection to anyone I have met? How will I know when I meet her? What I deal with on the inside may have blocked all connections.”

Athena slowly shook her head, her expression serious and sorrowful.

“Do you know?” I looked at Zeus.

He frowned. “I don’t even know if I will ever be gifted one.”

I stood from my seat, running my hand through my now dark locks.

“None of you can help me. You can’t make me normal.” I pointed to Athena. “You can’t tell me how to find her. I have been this way”—I gestured with my hands up and down my body—“for thousands of years. I will not change enough for my mate to accept me. I will always be the scared, lonely god. It is better this way.”

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