Page 11 of Forgive Me Father: For I Have Sinned

MY TWO WEEKS WEREup, and I knew just like clockwork that Mitch would be at the club that night, expecting an answer. Not a waking moment went by that I didn’t battle with myself over that decision. In the end, I intended to proceed with it. If he only wanted a quick fuck, I’d charge him a hundred and fifty bucks. If he wanted me to stay all night and engage in multiple couplings, then my price would be doubled. So now it was time to see just how serious Mitch was about this business venture he wanted us to embark upon.

When the curtain hooks scaled back along the rod, the scraping of the metal shot goosebumps down my spine. “Good evening, Jamie,” Mitch said.

Slowly I stood, putting away the cleaning supplies after clearing away the remnants from my last client. “Good evening, Mitch.” I still had his number, but I’d not sent him mine in a fruitless effort for some self-preservation I found in waiting until after I saw him again. There was always that niggling in the back of my mind that it was all a cruel joke and he wouldn’t show his face again, but here he was, standing before me. I made a show of tucking my phone into my pocket, assuming he’d catch my meaning behind it. His nervous smile and nod provided me with the answer I sought. I stood, unbuckling his belt as I gazed up into his chestnut eyes. He nodded again, and I continued my plight to give him his forty-dollar happy ending.

Unlike the other patrons who preferred to toss their money on the ground beside me, Mitch smiled, placing it directly in my hand and told me. “Thank you.” My only client who ever treated me like a human being which led me to believe he’d treat me with the same respect in bed. Hopefully, my instincts weren’t wrong this time. As I walked home, I sent him a message with my new number. Immediately, he responded sending his hotel information, and we set a date for the next night. Well, a meeting more so than a date. I guess…

Walking through the lobby of his hotel, I felt like all eyes were on me.Did they know why I was here?I turned, scanning the room but found no one paying any attention to me whatsoever. Entering the elevator, I shifted nervously from foot to foot during the short ride. My heart rate accelerated with each ding as it crept past another floor. When it reached the seventh, and the doors slid open, I remained inside, unable to make my feet carry me forward. As the doors began to close, I jumped forward, sliding between them and landing face first on the worn burgundy carpet in front of me.

“Nice start,” I mumbled aloud, brushing off my pants as I stood. Squaring my shoulders I pushed forward down the hall towards his room, knocking on the door before I could talk myself out of what I was doing.

When the door opened, a bright smile greeted me, somewhat easing my nerves. “Hello Jamie,” Mitch said. “Please, come in.”

“Um, hi.” I wasn’t sure what the protocol was in this extremely awkward situation. Do we shake hands? Hug? A high five seemed childish, so I opted for a weird hand wave thing. I chose to take a seat on the tableside chair, avoiding the bed entirely, while he took the seat across from me on the edge of it.

Crossing his hands over his lap, he seemed just as uncertain as I was. “Well, I guess we should talk business first,” he looked at me, but I said nothing. “Have you done this before?”

“No.”

“Me either.” I cocked a brow in question at his declaration. “Seriously Jamie, outside of random blow jobs in clubs, I’ve never solicited sex from anyone but my wife.”

Great, so he is married and another on the closeted list… “And what would your wife have to say about this?”

“Let’s leave her out of this equation.”

“So, let me get this right. You’re married, closeted, and now you expect me to believe this is the first time you’ve offered money to a guy you wanna fuck?” I don’t know who I was more disappointed in, him or me.

“Are you a virgin?”

“I wish,” I mumbled to myself, but when I glanced up at Mitch the look in his eyes told me he’d heard me.

“How old are you Jamie?”

“I’m of legal age. Turned eighteen last week if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Can’t deny that fear crossed my mind a time or two.”

“Yeah, getting thrown in jail for soliciting underage sex would def put a kink in your marriage.” What the fuck was I doing, picking a fight with someone who was potentially about to pay me enough to make this month’s rent. Taking the bull by the horns, I decided to lay it all out there for him to decide. “I don’t do any kinky shit. Fucking is a hundred and fifty bucks. If you want an all-nighter, that’ll cost you three hundred. Condoms are a must, not an option. What’s it to be?”

He sat there, staring blankly at me like he’d just seen an alien. It was time to take charge of my life and quit being the pansy-ass my father always said I was. However, when he waited too long to reply, I figured I’d overstepped. I stood to leave, and as I passed him, he reached out, grabbing my wrist. “Please don’t leave.”

Never had anyone asked me not to leave before. His words, albeit short, were filled with a need that extended beyond sex and when I looked back at him, the sadness on his face confirmed my suspicion. I returned to the chair I’d previously occupied and waited for him to decide what our next step would be. After a few very uncomfortable minutes, he finally spoke.

“Well Jamie, I have to say you may be young in years, but you’ve got some balls,” he laughed. “I more than agree to your terms. For tonight, I will pay you the one-fifty but would like to gauge our future gatherings individually, if that works for you?”

Holy shit, did I just complete my first adult negotiation?

“Agreed.”

“Come here,” Mitch called to me. As I neared, he pulled me to stand between his legs. “Don’t ever think less of yourself for what you have to do. Take life by the horns and live by the rules that work best for you,” he said. His hand slid back through my hair, cupping my head and bringing my mouth down to his in my first kiss. When his tongue entered my mouth, I didn’t know what to do but before I could overthink it, mine tangled with his and I found myself lost to it.Who knew kissing could be such a turn on?

With his arms wrapped around my waist, he pulled me down on top of him. His erection ground against mine through our clothing as we snaked our way up the bed. Never had another brought forth sexual desires in me before, not even the numerous times I’ve blown someone. Those were jobs, as was this but something in the way Mitch treated me, aroused me. I didn’t feel used even though I knew I was getting paid.

When we broke for air, he panted, breathlessly. “Jamie, I want you.”

Biting down on my bottom lip I nodded, thinking I just might need this release as much as he did. He slid his hand under my t-shirt and up my torso before pulling it off over my head. He sat up to unbutton his shirt, but my brazen side made a sudden reappearance as I playfully slapped his hands away and took over. Button by button the anticipation grew, until the last popped open and I slid it down his shoulders. My hands had a mind of their own as they traced the outlines of his torso, my eyes tracking their every move.

Was he muscular? No, but still retained definition. I was more in awe over the fact that for the first time, I was touching a man sexually, by choice. That the same man wanted me in return. Not just for a one and done behind an empty curtain before joining his friends at the bar, but he actually wanted me. He desired me and I him. I was allowing myself to feel; emotions I’d long since shut off. Emotions that could, in turn, cost me everything if they weren’t kept in check.

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