Page 37 of Forgive Me Father: For I Have Sinned

GAY MARRIAGE WASAhot topic, an extremely controversial one, but it looked like our partnerships were finally about to be recognized legally. Butch and I had had numerous conversations about the subject and promised each other if the movement were to be approved, we’d immediately file for our license and get married that same day, and it appeared our shared dream was coming true December twelfth, two thousand and twelve.

More than 800 gay and lesbian couples across Washington state received marriage licenses Thursday during a long and festive day that same-sex marriage supporters called a major moment in the history of the movement.

The couples, some of whom waited for hours to be among the first in line, can hold legally binding weddings starting Sunday under the state’s new same-sex marriage law, which took effect at 12:01 a.m. after winning voter approval in November.

The Seattle Times newspaper article began. We were handed a fresh copy that morning while standing in line with our fellow community members who also waited to be granted their marriage licenses. Greyson had a friend who was a judge who’d agreed to marry us in his chamber while our closest friends and family were in attendance. When we neared the front of the line, we texted each to come and meet us. Butch and I came dressed for the occasion in matching grey pin-striped suits with baby blue dress shirts and black shoes.

When we walked out of the office and into the hallway we were greeted by the outstretched arms of Butch’s parents, my sister Liv, Greyson, and Kegan. Greyson stood up for me and Kegan did the same for Butch. We had a reception scheduled at the Sheraton for later that night and had booked it as well as a suite back in February when the referendum hit the docket, holding out hope that things were going to go our way.

“Welcome Butch and Jamie,” Judge Walters said as we entered his chamber. “It’s an honor to officiate your marriage, and I’m happy to say, you are the first same-sex couple I’ve done this for. I hope you don’t mind, but I asked my partner to attend as well.” He pointed to a gentleman standing quietly in the corner of the room.

“The more, the merrier,” Butch told him.

“Excellent, shall we begin?” he asked. We handed him the license and asked that he keep it simple and non-denominational. “Everyone, please gather around,” he announced.

Butch and I stood at the front with Kegan and Greyson beside us in front of the judge’s podium.

“Dear friends and family, we are gathered here on this momentous day to join together Butch and Jamie in the bonds of holy matrimony. First, I must ask if there is anyone in this room who disagrees with this union? If so, please speak now or forever hold your peace.”

When no one spoke up, he continued. “Do you Patrick Charles Johnson take James Allen Keller to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health from this day forward until death do you part?”

“I do,” Butch’s smiling face responded, sliding the gorgeous titanium wedding band on my ring finger. Its single diamond staring back at me from its new home.

“Do you James Allen Keller take Patrick Charles Johnson to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health from this day forward until death do you part?”

“I do,” I said through my tears as my shaky hand slid Butch’s matching band over his finger.

“By the power vested in me, by the great state of Washington, it is with great pleasure I pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss your husband.”

Butch surprised me by bending me backward before taking my mouth with his in our first kiss as a married couple. The applause of our friends and family filled the chamber. We paused on the front steps to have a photographer we’d hired take a few photos of us together, as well as group pictures; one with his parents, our parents as I was told to call them mom and dad as was Liv, and a final one with our best men.

We met the rest of our friends in the banquet hall we’d rented for dinner that evening. Butch’s Marine buddies were there, well, all but one. Seemed he needed time to “adjust” to this as he’d told Butch. Butch told him there was nothing to adjust to and to enjoy his life. I envied Butch, not caring what others thought or said about him. He always told me it was wasted energy that could be focused elsewhere. If someone didn’t like him for nothing more than being himself, then they weren’t worth having around. Over time, I’ve been learning to let go of that feeling of inadequacy, but for some reason, if someone didn’t like me, it still ate me alive. Which was one of many reasons I didn’t have any friends outside of Butch’s and our bar family.

Everyone arrived at the Sheraton within moments of each other, when we entered the private dining area it was to the cheers of the staff who’d decorated the room with congratulatory paraphernalia. It was a bit overwhelming but in such a great way. “You okay baby?” Butch whispered in my ear when my lack of forward movement halted his.

“Yes, my love. I’m better than I ever imagined were possible for me to be.” He nudged me forward as we took our seats at the center of the table. A preselected menu was passed around with a variety of options we’d chosen ahead of time to satisfy the diverse group palates. Champagne was passed freely flowing while we waited for our food and as the last glass was filled, Greyson stood, tapping his to gain everyone’s attention.

“This is a monumental day not only for Jamie and Butch but for our community as a whole. While marriage isn’t for everyone,”

Kegan interrupted, raising his glass, “Here, here.”

Greyson laughed and then continued. “While marriage isn’t for my friend over here nor for myself, I do have to say it suits Jamie and Butch well. I’ve never met a couple more fated for each other than they are, and I couldn’t be prouder of them than I am right now. Thank you for letting me, for letting us,” he gestured collectively to the group filling the room, “be a part of this special day. I love you both. To Jamie and Butch,” he raised his glass in a toast as the group followed suit, chanting in unison. “To Jamie and Butch!”

Kegan rose, to give his speech next. “When I met this giant goofball sitting next to me, we were barely eighteen. We met in boot camp waiting in line to receive our first military issue haircuts. He kept joking that he was going to talk them into only taking a little off the top,” the group and Kegan laughed. “I was young and naïve and was foolish enough to believe that he could do that until he sat in the barber’s chair and proceeded to tell him exactly that. When the barber shaved a bald stripe straight down the middle of his head, he bolted out of the chair screaming, “what the fuck dude, you butchered me!” and that folks is how the nickname Butch came to be. It’s also the same time Butch learned how to peel potatoes. A thousand of them to be exact, wasn’t it, buddy?”

Butch flipped him the bird, and raucous laughter and applause filled the room.

“I love you too, big guy,” Kegan said, winking fondly back at him. “Jamie, you’re the perfect balance for him. The yin to his yang. Thank you for loving my best friend so unconditionally.” At that point, I’d been reduced to a blubbering idiot. “To Butch and Jamie!” Everyone cheered, emptying their champagne flutes as the wait staff quickly refilled them.

I honestly don’t remember ever getting drunk in my life, but right then I was in a really happy, really tingly place and in dire need of food to absorb some of the alcohol I’d consumed. My random giggles had Butch smiling lovingly at me while handing me a roll from the bread basket on the table. “Here, eat this. It’ll help,” he kissed my temple before resuming the conversation he’d been having with one of his Navy Seal buddies.

After stomachs had been filled and the cake devoured, everyone who was staying at the hotel retreated to their rooms as the others headed home. The dinner was delicious and helped stave the buzz I had earlier. Greyson insisted on paying the tab stating that it was our wedding present from him before hugging us both and disappearing.

When we got to our room Butch insisted on carrying me over the threshold like a bride, the sweet gesture behind the request had me accepting it. Had I refused, he probably would’ve tossed me over his shoulder like a caveman. When he opened the door, we’d barely stepped a foot inside before we felt like we’d been transported into a scene from a romance novel. He sat me down, dropped the bag beside the door and closed it behind us.

From the entryway to the bed, fresh red rose petals lined the pathway. In the center of the wall of windows sat a jacuzzi tub on an elevated platform, the hum of the motor vibrated through the silence in the room, the blowers whipped the bubbles wildly about. The fresh scent of lavender bath salts filled our senses, the low light provided by the candles lit throughout provided the perfect ambiance depict of a honeymoon suite. Atop the two-person dining table in the center of the room was a dozen red roses. Butch walked over and picked up the card leaning against the vase, snagging one of the chocolate-covered strawberries from the plate and popped it in his mouth. “Better you than me,” he read aloud and laughed, “but all kidding aside, I couldn’t be happier for you both. Love, Greyson.”

It seemed the blubbering was far from over for me, every nicety bestowed upon us set me off like a waterfall. Greyson may have been a callous jackal to those he slept with, but to his friends, he gave with his whole heart.

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