Page 38 of Social Sinners

“Why the hell would I be? You’re a big boy, you make your own decisions, and I like the kid. All I ask is that you guys are careful. Got it?”

“Yeah, true, but what brings you to my room anyway?” he asked. In the wake of Nathan’s naked ass bolting across the room, I’d damn near forgotten why I was there.

“Hey, I just got a call. Well, mom called our management office. She said dad died.” There was no way to sugar coat that and I’m not sure I’d really absorbed it enough myself to even attempt to do so.

“Wow, how’s mom? Did you talk to her?” he rattled off.

“Not yet. I didn’t have her number. Sal’s texting me the one she gave him.” I had no desire to talk to her. I really just…ugh.

“Ethan, she was just as trapped as we were… or was. She was forced to marry him.” The use of my first name caused me to pause. He only said it now when he was being serious.

“What, did grandpa trade her to dad for six cows and a goat?” It’s like I can’t even control the smartass retorts, especially not when I feel challenged.

“Nice. More like to dad in exchange for the church,” he informed me.

“How does that even happen? She had to have had some say in the matter.” Come on, this isn’t the twelfth century. There’s no way this shit still takes place in modern society. Does it?

“Don’t you remember how terrified she was when you and dad got into it at your graduation? We weren’t the only ones getting beat by him.”

Visions of my mother flashed through my memory, and I felt like such a fucking dumbass for my comment. The many times she’d flinch when I touched her, cowering when my father would raise his voice. I thought she just hated it when I touched her. That I was a disappointment to her, and she was disgusted by my presence. She never smiled, never spoke unless spoken to first. All signs of a terrorized woman. I hadn’t put two and two together until right this minute, and I felt like such a fool for never noticing.

“Come on, let’s go call her together,” he nodded. “You can come out of the bathroom now, Nathan,” I said, loud enough for him to hear. He opened the door, peeking around the corner. “Dude, seriously. We’re all adults here. Jay can have sleepovers if he wants.”

He kept his head down as he silently stalked across the room, standing beside the bed. “I’m sorry about your dad.”

“Thanks,” Jay and I muttered in unison.

“Come on, we’ll go into the office and make the call.” Jay pulled on some shorts, and as we reached the door, I turned to Nathan, “By the way, nice ass.” His face turned bright red, and I laughed my ass off all the way down the hall.

“You just had to do that, didn’t you?” Jay scolded me.

“Hell yeah, I did. That kid needs to lighten up.”

“Give him some time, please. He’s important to me,” Jay pleaded.

“I know. I will.” As we entered the office, my phone chimed alerting me of a text which was from Sal with mom’s number. “Okay, here goes nothing. I haven’t talked to this woman in ten years, so it should be interesting.” I had no idea what I was setting myself up for, but I guess it was time to be an adult. I just hoped this didn’t end in heartache– for any of us.

With shaky hands and an elevated heart rate, I dialed the number and put the phone on speaker, “Hello?”

“Hi Mom, it’s Di… um, Ethan and Jeremiah is with me.”

She burst into tears, her sobs loudly echoed over the phone’s speaker, “My boys, oh how I’ve missed you both. I knew you’d take care of your brother. I just wish I could’ve gotten him to you sooner.”

Wow, that was a completely unexpected confession. “Of course, I would. Hey Mom, Sal said dad died. What happened?” I didn’t think a trip down memory lane was what we all needed right now. Maybe after we got past a few issues first, we could sit down and hash it out, but in the meantime, we had a sperm donor to bury. I know that was callous to say, but there truly was no love loss here for me.

She sniffled, “He had a heart attack last night. When he didn’t come home for supper, I drove over to the church. I found him hunched over his desk. The paramedics said he’d been gone for a couple of hours.” She was back to crying. How she could cry for such a vile human, I’d never understood, but I supposed he was all she’d known for her entire adult life.

“Are you all right mom?” Jay asked, “do you need anything?”

“I’ll,… I’ll be okay. Your dad took care of everything, so I have no idea about the house or the checkbook. What about the funeral? I’ve been kept in the dark on so many things, I’m kinda lost here.”

“What do you need us to do?” I stepped up and asked. Now was not the time for me to lash out and if Jay were right, I’d need to find a new approach to addressing the feelings I’d long since repressed where our mother was concerned.

“Can you boys come by the house tomorrow? I’m sure it’ll be a revolving door around here with the women from church parading in and out with casseroles and what not. I need help figuring things out. I don’t even know where to begin.” And, she was back to crying.

I absolutely did not want to deal with those homophobic church twats, but the pleading look Jay was giving me told me we were going.

“We’ll be there, Mom,” he spoke for us, “what time?”

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