HALLIE
Isprint around the corner and see Lily sitting in her car, waiting for me.
Sliding into the passenger seat, she doesn’t say a word. She just drives.
“Want to talk about it?” she asks quietly.
“We fucked.”
“I gathered that, seeing as I’m picking you up at five in the goddamn morning. I haven’t even had a coffee yet. My eyes are burning.”
“Sorry.” I slump in my seat.
My bottom lip quivers as I try to hold back the tears.
“Let it out, Hallie. You’ll feel better.”
“I told him I never want to see him again. That he was just a fuck. And…I think this is it, Lily. I think he’s going to stop.”
My voice shakes, and the cries turn into sobs.
“That’s what you wanted though, right? You can’t be half in. Not with a guy like Conan. It’s probably for the best. Otherwise you’ll just hurt each other over and over.”
“I thought it was what I wanted. Now, I’m not so sure.”
It feels final.
Yet I’m still so drawn to him. Like a moth to a flame.
I believe what he told me. And if anything, it eases some of the guilt pressing on my conscience.
But when he wrapped his arms around me, for those few minutes…the hurt stopped.
I was safe again.
“Oh, Hallie. I’m so sorry. It will get better. I promise—you’ll stop hurting.”
I nod, but deep down I know this will stay with me for a long time.
Conan isn’t a man you just let go of.
He’s made a mark on my soul.
“I think I might ask Dr. Quinn for my job back,” I blurt out.
Work gave me a purpose. And it’s not like I spent hours a day with Finn anyway.
“That’s a good start.”
“I don’t want to sell Dad’s house either.”
Lily nods.
“I know.”
“Okay. Let’s see if I can put my life back together tomorrow.”
“Hallie, you never broke it in the first place. Okay?”