The last time I felt this despondent was when my dear mother passed away seven years ago. My spirits are at an all-time low. I’m snapping at everyone around me where I’m so worn down from overworking and not sleeping properly. Jesus, you would think I’m a brooding seventeen-year-old going through his first breakup as opposed to a forty-year-old man.
I’m tired of feeling like this. I need to stop missing her. I’m looking for her face in every stranger that passes by me. The only solace I have is knowing that she has embraced her role as event manager at Elite Events and is making a name for herself in the industry. Last week, she flawlessly coordinated a wrap party for a popular TV show, and next week, she will be taking on a Valentine's Day festival. It was no surprise to me that she excelled and surpassed my expectations in her role. As much as it pains me to admit, Suzan did a great job mentoring her. In just five short months, Savannah has utilized her connections to turn the company around, attract high-end clients, and establish Elite Events as a prominent name in the industry.
Paul Eddison—who is the executive director of the company and Savi’s ‘boss’—gives me weekly reports on the company’s progress under Savannah's leadership. Of course, she remains in the dark that I own Elite Events and I intend to keep it that way. Though, I must confess, I have been purposely driving by her office every morning in hopes of catching a glimpse of her. Unfortunately for me, I have yet to see her during my drives.
The weight of longing and uncertainty presses heavy on my chest as I wonder if she still thinks of me as I do her. Do memories of our time together flicker in her mind, or has she found someone new to occupy her thoughts? The ache to know the answers consumes me, a desperate desire clawing at my heart. I would give anything—everything—just for a glimpse into her mind and heart. Is she staying true to her promise that I will always have her heart? Because she still has mine.
Savannah still remains an untamed wildfire in my heart that never dies out.
21 weeks.
147 days.
3528 hours.
211,680 minutes.
That’s how long it’s been since Logan and I broke up; or should I say since Logan broke up withmeand I am on the verge of losing my mind.
I can't seem to figure it out. Why am I always being dumped by men? What am I doing that'ssowrong? Trent ended things because he didn't love me enough, and his father ended things because he loved me too much. Will I ever find a man who wants to stay with me, or is it time to give up on love altogether? Because right now, it feels like love has given up on me.
“Am I needy?” I ask out loud with a huff as I lower the latest edition of Fashionista Magazine. Vee and Hannah both look up at me from their position loungingon the sofa.
“What?” Vee utters, chewing on the red vine hanging from her mouth, her thick dark brows pinching in confusion.
Hannah is also wearing the same expression of perplexity on her pretty face, her mouth hanging slightly open. “Am I needy?” I repeat and look down at the magazine article again. “It says here that the reason I keep getting dumped by men is because I’mneedyand make myself too available which can be an instant turn off for men.” I read and look between my two best friends inquisitively. “Is that true?”
“Bitty, don’t be ridiculous. Of course, it’s not true.” Hannah reassures me soothingly.
“Don't waste your time reading that trash, Savi,” Vee says with a dismissive wave of her hand. “Trust me, the person writing them is no expert on relationships; they're just as clueless as you are. The reason you keep getting dumped has nothing to do with what you're doing wrong. Nine times out of ten, they're the problem and they just know how to manipulate and deceive. And they have the nerve to say we're complicated when they're the headfucks,” Vee exclaims, rolling her eyes and pointing a red vine in my direction. “You're not needy, but you tend to give everything to whoever you're dating too quickly. You fell for Logan in a matter of weeks. We get it, good sex can be blinding, but maybe try taking things slower and not giving all of yourself so soon. Remember, it doesn’t take much to spook men.”
“Vee is right, Bitty, eventually, you will meet the right guy who will stick around and love you for you,” Hannah adds nodding in agreement.
Stupidly, I believed Loganwasthe one for me. Hell, I even went as far as picturing our entire future together. Even so, I think I’m done with dating for a while. I’ve been burnt twice now and honestly, between Logan and Trent I don’t have the stomach to put myself out there anymore. I can’t even think about another guy when I’m still in love with Logan. Just thinking about him and what we had still hurts months later.
Sighing, I place the magazine down and stare at the image of the couple kissing on the page. I wonder how he is. Do I still cross his mind or has he moved on already and found someone new. If he has, is he happierwith her than he was with me? I don’t even know the woman or if she exists, but I hate her.
Logan has been on my mind constantly since we broke up. I haven’t stopped missing him, not even for a second. My friends keep telling me it’s going to get easier—to give it time—but it’s not. My heart is still broken and aches all the same.
By some miracle after Suzan pretty much blacklisted me in the industry, a month later, I get offered a job as an Events Manager—which I find bizarre because not that long ago I was just an apprentice. I did find the entire offer a bit shady. It seemed odd that they would consider an apprentice for such a senior role, but nevertheless, I’m not one to kick a gift horse in the mouth. A company called Elite Events reached out to me and offered me the Event Manager role and while I was skeptical at first, I’m using everything I learned from Suzan and so far, it’s going well; I’m really settling into the role, and I've even secured a few high-profile clients, including some that I had previously worked with at Glitz and Glam.
Sliding off the stool, I push it back under the table and shake my head as I slap the magazine shut with a heavy sigh. “Serves me right for trying to be too adventurous. Who did I think I was anyway? I got all caught up in the passion. As if a man like Logan would realistically choose to settle down with me anyway. Right now, I have no interest in meeting anyone else. Once bitten, twice shy and all that. I think I’m going to stick to my initial plan. Career first and if love chooses to find me somewhere along the way then so be it, but as of today, I am focusing on me.”
Hannah's voice is gentle as she speaks, her words laced with a touch of sadness. “I think that's a great idea,” she agrees, her eyes emanating compassion. “Though I don't like how you're selling yourself short, Bitty. Logan is crazy about you. And if it wasn't for his strong aversion to marriage and children, maybe things would have turned out differently.” As she stands up from the sofa and walks over to me, her warmth envelopes me in a comforting hug. “But don't lose hope,” she whispers, her hand rubbing soothing circles on my back. “Your forever person is out there waiting for you to find him.” My head rests on Hannah'sshoulder, and I can’t help but sigh at the bittersweet thought. But in that moment, all I could think about was how much I wished my forever person could have been Logan.
“Hey, Andre,” I call out to one of my junior coordinators and he looks over at me while carrying a hefty looking box from the back of the van. “I need you to head over to the stage manager and ask him if he has an ETA on how long the engineers will take with the setup. We have sound check and the rehearsals in less than three hours.”
“Sure thing, boss.” Andre grunts as he carries the box across the park to where the catering vans are setting up.
“It’s Savi.” I correct him as he walks away, and he smirks back at me.
I let out an audible sigh and survey the chaos before me. Tomorrow afternoon is the much-anticipated Lovefest festival, and there is still so much left to do. It's hard to believe that I'm in charge of managing it this year. I keep having to pinch myself to check I’m not dreaming.
My friends and I have been attending this festival every year and never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine I would be coordinating it. Either my stars have aligned or someone up there really does love me. With over two thousand tickets sold, this is quite the undertaking, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about it. Lovefest takes place every spring on the first weekend in April at Valentines Park, where singles gather with the hope of finding love.
Of course, couples are welcome too, but this event is primarily for singles to come together in a safe space and potentially make a connection. You know like they used to back before Tinder and Plenty Of Fish became a thing.
There will be food, drinks, live music from talented artists, a kissing booth, and various activities for attendees to enjoy. And if a match is made and the couple fall in love and choose to get married, as an incentive,they will receive twenty-five percent off our wedding services to plan their dream wedding. It’s a nice gesture for the couple and it drums up some great business for us. Everyone wins!