Page 21 of 21 Week Hiatus

I can tell by the way she clenches her jaw and shifts her weight that I've struck a nerve by using the Wildfire card too soon.

What an idiot moronic on my part.

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” I immediately apologize, hoping to diffuse the tension. As I take a step towards her, I brace myself for her to back away, but she stands her ground. Instead of retreating, she folds her arms over her chest and fixes me with an icy glare.

“What exactly are you apologizing for, Logan?” Her tone is frosty, and it cuts straight through me like a shard of glass. “For breaking up with me? For breaking my heart? Or for showing up months later like an entitled ass and pulling that stupid stunt in front of thousands of people thinking you’re going to impress me by throwing around your cash? Which one of those are you sorry for, huh?”

I let out a heavy breath, running my fingers through my hair and massaging the back of my neck. “All of it,” I confess honestly. “Despite what you may think, Savi, I didn't come here with any agenda, I promise you.”

Savi snorts skeptically and rolls her eyes. “Really?” she challenges, crossing her arms over her chest. “Because that whole performance out there sure seems like you did, Logan. What was the end game here?”

“Again, that was completely unpremeditated.” I explain. “And I’m not playing at anything. I only stopped by with the intent to support you from… afar. And when I saw you up on that stage and that guy was bidding to win a date with you, I just…”

“You just what, Logan?”

“I didn’t like it.”

Savi lets out a derisive laugh and paces back and forth with her hands on her hips. “You didn't like it,” she repeats under her breath, shaking her head. “So let me get this straight,” she mutters, shaking her head. “You didn't approve of me going on a date with someone else—the very reason you broke up with me in the first place—so you decided to take it upon yourself to decide who I can and cannot date. And yet you have the nerve to stand there and claim you're not playing games.”

“I’m not playing games, Savi.” I insist, scowling.

“Then explain it to me, Logan. Were people right about our relationship? Was I nothing more than a fleeting thrill for you? Because from where I’m standing it sure feels that way. And you know what’s worse? You were so quick to condemn Trent for treating me poorly, but look at you, you’re doing the same thing. Thinking you can break up with me and then waltz back into my life months later when it suits you, expecting me to just blindly forgive you and everything to go back to how it was. Well, I’m sorry you wasted your time and funds Mr. Peirce, because I took your sage advice, and I realized that Idodeserve better.”

Savi’s words are a sudden, brutal force that hits me like a freight train. Each one slamming into me with increasing intensity, leaving me reeling. I can feel the weight of her accusation crashing down on me like a ton of bricks.

Is she right? Am I really no better than Trent? Fuck, in the rush of the moment, I didn’t even stop to consider how my actions might affecther. It’s a downright selfish oversight which has left a bitter taste in my mouth.

How could I have been so fucking ignorant.

The air around us crackles with tension as I search for words to defend myself, but nothing comes. Only the sound of my racing heart filling the silence between us.

Savi’s gaze bores into me, searching for a response that I can't seem to find. I feel like a fool, standing there drowning in shame. “No, absolutely not. Maybe when we first met that is what I was looking for—what we were both looking for— but as I got to know you, you became so much more, and you know that.” I say with reproach, reaching totake hold of her hand but she pulls it back out of my reach. I push back the sting of rejection and let out a deep sigh, keeping my hands at my sides. “In that moment, I didn't stop to think about how my actions would affect you. I just saw that other guy bidding on you and reacted impulsively, and you’re right, it was wrong, and I apologize for that.” My words are sincere, and I hope she can see how much remorse I feel now. “When I broke up with you it wasn’t because I wasn’t sure about my feelings or how I felt about us, Savi. It’s because I already knew you deserved far better than me.”

“Then why are you here, Logan?” Savi questions, her brows fusing. “If you truly believed that I would be better off or ‘happier’ without you, why are you here now? Why are you going to so much trouble to control who I can and can’t go on a date with? What the hell gives you that right after you ended things between us.”

Licking my lips, I lower my gaze to the ground for a moment while I gather my thoughts because looking into her hurt filled eyes is killing me. “The same reason you were sending death glares to those women who were saying those crude things about me.” I admit with a shrug and look at her again. “Because I still love you enough to be bothered by it.” The storm behind Savi’s eyes clears almost immediately, leaving them meltingly soft like pots of liquid gold. “Because I haven’t stopped thinking about you or missing you since the moment you walked out of my door that night.” Tears pool in her eyes and she shakes her head. “I’m far from perfect, Savi, and I've made my share of mistakes that I regret deeply, but letting you walk out of that door that night is my biggest regret yet.”

My arms ache to reach out and hold her, but I keep them by my sides terrified she will snub me again. “You hurt me, Logan,” she whispers, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I trusted you. When my mother warned that you would hurt me, I defended you because I thought you were different, but it turns out she was right because you know what you taught me? That there is no such thing as a trustworthy man.”

I nod and take a step toward her, praying inwardly to the divinity above that she doesn’t retreat. “I know I hurt you and you have no idea how sorry I am and how much I wish I could take it all back, Wildfire.” I say,reaching up to brush away the tear that is rolling down her cheek. Savi’s eyes close at my touch and a quivering breath escapes her lips momentarily drawing my gaze to her mouth. “Instead of freaking out over the future, I should have just focused on the present and done what I had planned that night and asked you to move in with me.”

Savi’s eyes snap open and she stares up at me, her eyes wide with surprise. “What?”

I nod and play with the loose curl on the end of a strand of her hair. “That’s why I took you out to dinner that night. I was going to ask you to move in with me, but then your parents showed up and I overheard your conversation with them outside the restaurant and it affected me more than I thought, because they weren’t wrong and overhearing the truth as ugly as it was, wasn’t an easy pill to swallow. I convinced myself that I was ruining your life by letting you settle when you deserve to live the life you have always dreamed of. I thought by letting you go I was doing what was best for you.”

Savi shakes her head and reaches up to gently push my hand away from her face. “You thought you were doing what was best for me,” she replies with a hint of bitterness in her voice. She wipes at the tears streaming down her cheeks using her slender fingers. “If your understanding of doing what’s best for me is wrecking me, congratulations—you succeeded.” Savi questions, stepping closer to me, tipping her head back so she can look me directly in the eyes as she speaks. “Because I’ve not been in a good way, Logan. I’m not happy. In fact, I can’t remember a time I’ve been so fucking miserable. My heart has been in constant agony since that day, and I don’t know how to make the pain stop. They all said wait it out, it will get better, but it didn’t… it hasn’t. So, you tell me which part of any of that is what’s best for me?”

The lump in my throat grows larger and thicker, constricting my airway as I look into her sorrow filled eyes. Words fail me just as I failed her… failed us. “I’m so sorry, Savi.”

“So am I,” she utters with a disappointed shake of her head. “Perhaps next time you can think long and hard before going around making decisions on behalf of someone else about their own life; especially if that decision will wind up hurting them. I never needed you to be myhero and make choices on my behalf Logan, because I already knew in my heart that I made the right choice. I just wish you had trusted that I was capable and intelligent enough to decide what’s best for my own life instead of sacrificing us.”

Her final words hang heavily in the air between us as she walks away, taking what's left of my shattered heart with her.

Watching her walk away for the second time cut me deeper than the last.

Christ. How do I fix this? How do I get her to forgive me and see that I can’t bear to face a life that she’s no longer a part of. If marriage is what it takes, I’ll marry her tomorrow. If she wants a litter of babies, I’ll book an appointment right now and have my vasectomy reversed.

“Savi,” I call out and she stops walking. I wait a moment to see if she’ll look back at me, but she doesn’t. She keeps her gaze ahead, her shoulders shaking while she sobs. I walk over to her until I’m standing directly behind her. “Don’t walk away,” I plead, pressing my forehead to the back of her head. “Scream at me. Hit me. Tell me you despise me, but please Wildfire, don’t walk away.” Savi shakes her head, and I can only just about hear her quiet sniffles over the loud music thundering out of the nearby speakers.

---