Page 24 of When We Collide

“Dean, stop.” My brother steps forward and takes hold of my shoulders, bringing me to a halt mid-pace. His eyes are soft and full of compassion as he looks at me. “Jeyla doesn’t want me. Her heart is so completely consumed by love for you that there has never been any room for anyone else.”

I shake my head in disbelief. “That's bullshit, Oz. I've seen the way she looks at you, that's not nothing. There has always been something between the two of you. What if...” Suddenly, a thought strikes me like a bolt of lightning. “Shit, what if youwere the one she was meant to be with all along and I just got in the way?” I lift my eyes to meet his, pleading for some kind of answer.

“That’s not possible, Dean, look at everything the two of you have overcome over the years. If Jeyla and I were meant to be together we would have somehow found a way to each other, but we haven’t. I’m not saying Jeyla doesn’t care about me or that she doesn’t have some sort of affection toward me. But whatever it is she feels, isn’t nearly as profound as what she feels for you and given the choice between you and me, she would always chooseyou. Do you understand?”

“Why do you do that? It’s clear you’re so fucking in love with her, yet you keep pushing us together. Why are you so afraid to fight for her, Oz?”

There’s a brief moment where my brother drops the mask veiling his true feelings and I see clear as day the love he holds in his heart for Jeyla. “I’m notafraidto fight for her, Dean. If Jeyla ever gave me a reason to fight, I would have. All it would have taken is for her to look at me just once the way she looks at you and that would have been all the reason I needed, but she hasn’t. And I know that if we ever did get a chance to be together, she would be settling, and I don’t want to be someone’s second choice, definitely not hers.” He asserts calmly and pins me with a pointed look. “I want her to love me enough to want to die than live on without me.”

I struggle to swallow against the aridity of my throat, my body trembling under the weight of my next words as I force a nod in understanding, unable to meet the eyes of my brother. “Yeah, well,” my voice croaks as I force the words out, “it’s looking like you might get your chance soon enough,” I murmur, “because I don’t think I’m going to make it out of this mess, Oz.”

His face falls into a worried frown, “Dean?—”

“No,” I interrupt firmly. “I’m serious.” With a heavy sigh, I walk over to lean against the counter, needing the support as I brace myself for the words I need to say next. “I need you to listen to me because there is no way I can say these words directly to her.” Oz frowns, but nods mutely allowing me to continue. “If anything happens to me,” I continue, trying to keep my voice steady despite the tears that threaten to break loose at any moment, “I want you to know that should an opportunity come where you and Jeyla can be together... you don’t have to feel guilty or be burdened with the thoughts that you’re somehow betraying me.” My brother shakes his head and opens his mouth to speak but I hold up my hand to silence him while biting back the tears. “The idea of her loving anyone else enrages me, but if there is anyone that I trust who will love her as much as I do, protect her with his life and make it his life’s mission to make her happy it’s you, alright. Just… make sure I’m dead and buried before you make a move or I will rip out your throat and shove it up your arse.” A tear rolls down my cheek and I brush it away. “Promise me that you will take care of her and DJ always.”

My brother’s eyes glisten with unshed tears as he nods. “Of course I will, always.”

“Good,” I sniff and clear my throat. Oz and I share a meaningful look before he strides over to me and pulls me in for a tight hug.

“And you promise me,” he murmurs against my shoulder, “that you will fight like hell to come back, alright?” I nod, closing my eyes tightly and holding onto him for support. Knowing what is at stake and what I have waiting for me at home, I have no other choice.

We pull apart and I nod, drying my eyes with the back of my hand and wander over to the window that overlooks the back garden. “I need to get her and DJ out of here and someplace safe as soon as possible and I need you to go with them. Jeyla will never go if she’s alone, at least if you’re with her I know she’ll feel more at ease.” I voice, staring out of the window into the darkness. “Arrangements have been made for mum, dad and Ash to be taken to a safe location as well. I’ll go tomorrow and speak to them.” With a deep breath, I turn away from the window and face my brother again. “I can focus on doing my job if I know you're all safe.”

If I’m going to fight for a future with Jeyla and our son, I need to go in there with a clear head and not spend every waking moment wondering if their lives are in danger.

Not that I have high hopes of making it out of this shit show, but hey, a man can dream, right?

“If an officerin the military fakes their death and comes back after a year. Is the marriage to his spouse still valid…” I mumble as I type the question into the google search bar and tap the search button. Gnawing away at my lower lip I stare at my phone’s screen while I wait for the results to come up.

The legal status of a marriage when one spouse fakes their death and then returns can be complex and may depend on the specific circumstances and the laws of the jurisdiction involved. Generally, the marriage might still be considered legally valid, but several factors could influence this.

“Oh, well, that’s very fucking informative. Thank you very much, Google.” I gripe irritably, tossing my phone on the bed I standand start pacing restlessly back and forth. I’m going to lose my damn mind. It’s a stupid thing to be focusing on in this moment of time, but I can’t help but wonder if our marriage is still valid if Dean Reyes is technically and legally considered dead. We had to go and register his death for fuck’s sake.

With an anxious sigh, I push my fingers through my hair and fist the roots as I groan in frustration. This isn’t my life. It can’t fucking be, because this is the sort of shit that happens in movies and novels… not in real life.

While I’m amid a nervous breakdown, the door creaks open behind me and I turn to see Dean walk into the bedroom and close the door behind him before he leans against it. One part of me wants to throw everything I can get my hands on at him for putting me through such hell and the other is aching to walk over there grab his stupid head and kiss him.

“You know, I spent many nights alone in this room, in our bed, dreaming about you returning home, just for a day or even a measly hour. Now you’re here, I never imagined that it would be like…this.” I admit, gesturing between us. Dean pushes himself off the door and slowly walks over to me.

“Why don’t you tell me how you imagined it would be?” he questions, every stride he takes toward me dwindles the space between us. “If all we had together was tonight, how would you want to spend it, JJ?”

Shaking my head I keep my eyes affixed on him as he slowly inches closer to me. His emerald, green eyes drop to my lips, his breath hitching slightly. “Because I know exactly how I would,” Dean murmurs, his fingers reaching up to delicately tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear. A jolt of electricity shoots through me at the light touch of his fingertips against my skin, and myheart begins to flutter erratically in my chest. “I would spend every second I have with you, committing every detail of your beautiful face to my memory,” he declares while lightly trailing the back of his hand across my cheek. “I would soak up every breath you take and every sound you make.” My eyelids flutter closed, and a shaky exhale escapes my parted lips as I feel the warmth of his breath against my face. “I would etch your taste into my mind, so I never forget how good you taste.”

My resolve starts to falter. I’m still angry with him, but his words and touch are melting me like butter on a hot pan. My feet retreat backward, desperate to put some space between us because I’m getting a bad case of the sex fog, and I can’t even remember why I’m pissed at him. “Not that I couldeverforget.” Dean mutters, his voice dipping lower and becoming raspier the more turned on he gets.

“Dean,” I place my hands on his bare chest to keep him at bay, but he lifts his right arm and places his hand at my hip as he steps closer until my body is flush against him. A familiar heat starts to coarse through my body and consume me at rapid speed. “I kissed your brother,” I suddenly blurt out in a panic.Wow, what a moment to confess Jeyla, you absolute idiot.Shit, why did I just do that? The words just fall out of my mouth like a bad case of verbal diarrhoea. I regret it the moment it left my mouth, but I couldn’t hold it in much longer. Dean stills for a moment and his eyes lift from my mouth back up to my eyes. To my surprise, Dean is calm and composed, not at all enraged as I expected him to be.

“I know.” I retreat, and he advances another step. Wait? What does he meanhe knows? How the hell does heknow?

“Y-you know?” My words come out as a stammer and Dean simply nods while advancing toward me until the back of my legshit the mattress on the bed. Oscar must have told him. “Oscar told you,” I state and he responds with another silent nod. “And? You don’t have anything to say on the matter? How are you so calm?”

“I have plenty to say, but right now, JJ, I want you to shut up.” Dean says as he hooks his fingers into the waist band of my shorts and languidly peels them down my hips. “We’re going to put a pin in that conversation and revisit later, because right now, I don’t want to think about you and my brother swapping spit, much less talk about it. In fact, I’m going to spread you out on top of that bed and spend the night erasing it from your mind entirely because you seem to have forgotten who you belong to.”

“Dea—” The words don’t even make it out of my mouth before Dean hooks his hands at the back of my thighs and performs some swift technique where he lifts me with absolutely zero effort, and I fall backwards in a heap on top of the bed with a surprised gasp. Dean towers over me, shirtless, wearing only low-riding tracksuit bottoms that accentuate his narrow hips and defined Adonis belt. My thoughts scatter as I try to form a rational thought in the presence of his exquisite body.

I never forgot for a second how incredibly exquisite his body was and the affects it had on me. Now a year later, I’m not sure how it’s possible, but he looks even better; leaner, every muscle protruding with ropes of thick veins down his arms, and those shoulders… God help me, I want to bite down on them while he’s pounding into me.

“Like what you see, baby girl?” Dean drawls with an expressive smirk one I’ve missed and longed to see every day for an entire year. He’s clearly taking great pleasure in my open admiration, catching me gawking at him as though he’s a delicious, six-foot,rich and decadent bar of hazelnut chocolate that I’m eager to dive right in and devour.

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