Page 40 of When We Collide

Those gorgeous lips curl into a sinful smile, revealing dimples that make my heart race. His hand snakes its way back to the nape of my neck and my spine arches in response. “And I love to hear it, baby girl,” he purrs, his voice dripping with seduction and arrogance.

“You’re truly sick in the head. I hope you know that.” I tell him.

“I do, and you hate that you love me for it,” he replies with a smirk, his eyes glinting mischievously. My stomach churns with a mixture of frustration and need as I lock eyes with him.

“You keep looking at me like that JJ and I will not be held accountable for my actions. I’ll spread you out right here and fuck your tight little cunt till your pretty eyes roll to the back of your head,” he threatens, his words making my body tingle with anticipation.

My breath hitches as I lean in closer, our lips just inches apart. “Oh, I dare you,Captain,” I challenge in a low sultry tone.

Dean's gaze intensifies as he locks onto mine. Without hesitation, he lifts me up and pulls me onto his lap, my legsstraddling him. “JJ, you know better than to challenge me,” he warns, but there is an underlying hint of amusement in his tone.

“I know you well enough to know that you would never risk losing your job,” I retort, trying to hide the shaky excitement in my voice. Dean's lazy smile turns wicked as his fingers trail up my thighs until they reach the button of my jeans. With practiced ease, he unfastens it and begins sliding them down my legs.

“It’s no lie that you do in fact know me well,” Dean speaks quietly as his fingers toy with the lace of my underwear. “But do you know how many times I have fantasised about this very moment. Sprawling you out on my F-35. Stripping you down slowly, spreading these gorgeous thighs apart and sucking on your succulent cunt till you come for me. I wouldn’t only risk my job for that, I’d risk my fucking life.”

I can feel his erection, hard like steel pressing against me and I’m damn tempted to grind myself against it when my centre throbs with need.

Jesus, I’m convinced now more than ever that there is something seriously wrong with us. It wasn’t even ten minutes ago that I was crying over the thought of losing him again and now I’m straddling him and grinding on his dick. This can’t be normal, can it? This is what Dean Reyes does to me. Is it any wonder that I’m tethering on the edge of insanity. My damn emotions are all over place. I don’t know if I’m woeful, angry or horny or perhaps it’s a mixture of all three?

All I know right now is that I want him to make good on his word and take me right here on his F-whatever the fuck it is.

It appears that the both of us are seeking a distraction. A moment of solace. The weight of negative thoughts is becoming too heavy to bear, threatening to push me over the edge. I feel my sanity slipping away as I continue to dwell on all the bad things happening around me. I need to break free from this mental prison before it consumes me completely.

“I hateto say I told you so, but I did tell you it would end like this, didn’t I?” Ashlyn rebukes down the other end of the phone. “I don’t honestly know what it is you want to hear from me now, Dean?”

“What I always want to hear from you. The bloody truth, Ash. Just give it to me straight.”

“Are you sure you’re ready to hear it?”

No, I’m absolutely fucking not.

Despite the turmoil raging inside of me, I force my eyes shut and give a small nod of agreement. In my mind, Ashlyn's wordsare not coming through a phone call from a hundred miles away, but rather standing before me in all her twin glory.

Ashlyn let out a heavy sigh, taking my silence for approval to continue. “Look, I don’t want you to feel like I’m chewing you out here. You’re my brother and I love you. Fuck, I love you both—especially when you're together—but personally as someone who knows you both very well, I don't think your relationship is healthy. Watching the two of you try and make this work feels a lot like beating a dead horse.” I close my eyes and swallow thickly.

“You’re fighting with every ounce of strength to make something work that just isn't meant to be. I can see that you both love each other deeply, no one can deny that. But ever since you got together, all you’ve both done is suffer. That poor girl has endured so much pain because of you, Dean. The universe is practically screaming at you, throwing obstacle after obstacle in your way, trying to tell you that this isn't where you belong, and yet you stubbornly continue to ignore it, blindly pushing forward despite all signs pointing against you.” Ashlyn's voice is filled with concern and worry, and my chest tightens at her words, knowing deep down that she's right and I hate it.

With a firm shake of my head, I refuse to believe Ash's words. “No,” I insist. “I won't accept that we're not meant for each other. The connection we share is undeniable. My soul is intertwined with Jeyla's, I can feel it.” The intensity of our bond sends shivers down my spine and ignites a fire in my chest. Even as I speak, I know without a doubt that she is the missing piece of my heart, the one who completes me in every way.

“If you were, it wouldn’t be this hard, Dean. Jeyla almost died twice. I watched the life be stripped away from her after shelost you. And now this whole mess, she’s barely hanging on. And if you go off on this mission of yours and fail and she has to face losing you a second time…” Ashlyn's words trail off, but I don’t need her to finish the sentence. The image is already burned into my mind, causing my jaw to clench and tears to gather behind my eyelids. “Dean, you know as well as I do it doesn’t matter what you do, what level of hell you put her through, when it comes to you, Jeyla will always forgive you.”

“I know.” I admit quietly while staring down at the ground beneath me. “I’m fucking crazy about her, Ash. The last thing I ever wanted to do is hurt her in any way. Do you think it doesn’t kill me to see her so broken? I hate that she’s suffered so much because of me. If I could erase all the pain that I caused her, I would in a heartbeat. All I ever wanted was to build a life with her and just be fucking happy. Why is that so damn hard when we love each other so fucking much? I don’t understand.”

“Love alone just isn’t enough on its own.” Ashlyn responds. “Sometimes instead of completing you it can have the opposite effect and cause destruction.”

I wince at her words when a sharp pain that feels like a hot blade piercing through my heart steals my breath. My tongue feels heavy in my mouth, but I force myself to speak. “And you think loving me is destroying Jeyla.”

“I think it’s destroying you both.” I can hear the dejection in my sister’s voice. “There isn’t a soul on this earth who wanted to see you both make this work more than me, believe me, and a big part of me still truly hopes that you still do,” she says with a sniffle.

“But deep down you believe Jeyla will have a better chance of happiness without me...”

“Don’t you?”

Shaking my head, I blink back the tears that gather in my eyes once again as I recall the conversation I had on the phone with my sister. Ashlyn only voiced the words that I’ve been too afraid to admit to myself. I don’t know how I managed to contain my emotions for as long as I did during that call because the moment I hit that red button to end the call it felt like a dam had broken inside of me.

How can I ever accept and live with the knowledge that Jeyla could find happiness with someone else and move on?

Even if I do love her enough to let her go, fuck, it would kill me.

---