Page 63 of When We Collide

“Yeah,” he confirms, his voice firm but gentle. “They want me to transfer from the RAF to the USAF. I’d complete the training and, after that, become a full-time instructor. We’d be granted employment visas, leading to permanent residency here in the US.”

The room feels like it’s spinning, the reality of his words hits me like a tidal wave. It’s one thing to daydream about living here, to imagine what it might be like, but the thought of it actually happening, of uprooting our lives and planting new roots so far from where we started, is very overwhelming.

My stomach twists with a mix of excitement and fear, the familiar comfort of the life we’ve built together suddenly feeling fragile in the face of such a big change.

I try to speak, but my throat feels tight, my thoughts tangled in a web of uncertainty. “You’re serious?” I finally manage tosay, my voice barely above a whisper. “We’d really live here? Permanently?”

Dean nods, his expression softening as he sees the storm of emotions flickering across my face. “Yeah, baby, it’s real. They’re offering us a future here—a fresh start. It’s a big decision, I know. And I’m happy to go with whatever you want. If you’re not happy here and want to go home, we’ll go home, and there’s opportunities for me there too. But I wouldn’t have even considered it if I didn’t think we could build something incredible here.”

The weight of his words presses down on me, the enormity of the choice before us looming large. I can see the hope in his eyes, the possibilities that stretch out before us like an uncharted horizon.

“Wow, um...” I take a deep breath, trying to steady the racing of my heart. “It’s just… it’s a lot to take in, Dean,” I admit, my voice trembling slightly. “I mean, I do love it here and the life we’ve built, and I always thought about what it might be like to live here, but I never really let myself believe it could happen.”

Dean’s hand comes up to cradle my face, his thumb brushing away the tear I didn’t even realize had fallen. “I know it’s a lot, and we’ll be leaving so much behind back home, but we don’t have to decide anything right now. We have time, we’ll figure this out together, all right?”

Dean's words wrap around me like a soft, comforting blanket, easing the turmoil that churns inside. His steady and unwavering presence next to me is a reminder that no matter what comes our way, we will face it together. I nod slowly, finding solace in his touch as I lean into his embrace. The warmth of his body and the strength in his arms provide a sense of security.

“Okay,” I whisper, my voice barely audible but filled with gratitude for his steadiness. Closing my eyes, I rest my head against his chest, feeling the gentle rise and fall as he breathes. The steady beat of his heart grounds me in the moment and I feel the first spark of excitement flicker in the depths of my being. It's terrifying to think about the unknown that lies ahead, but with Dean by my side, maybe it's not as daunting as it all seems. This is our story, our adventure. Perhaps this is just the beginning of something new and beautiful.

We sit there, the rhythmic creaking of the swing accompanying the gentle pitter-patter of raindrops. Dean's feet push us back and forth, our bodies swaying in sync with the motion. The peacefulness of the moment envelops us as we watch the world around us being washed clean by the soft rainfall. “Dean...” I murmur, breaking the silence.

“Hm…” he responds, his gaze meeting mine as I tilt my head back to look at him.

“Let's do it,” I say with determination, my heart racing like it wants to stop in my chest.

Dean smiles. “Yeah?” he questions, his eyes alight. “JJ, are you sure?”

I bite my lip and nod my head slowly, “I can see us and DJ being really happy here.”

Dean presses his forehead to my temple, a peaceful smile on his handsome face. “Me too, baby.”

“We might have to do something about that lake though. DJ will be running around soon.” I utter, gazing out at the backyard and envisioning DJ running around and playing football with Deanor learning how to ride a bike. “We can build a play area for him there instead.”

Dean's lips press softly against my shoulder, his warm breath tickling my skin. His dark lashes frame his intense gaze as his eyes meet mine.

“Do you think DJ will be okay playing in this huge backyard all by himself?” he asks, intertwining our fingers as he speaks.

I furrow my brow, confused. “What do you mean?”

He leans closer to me, his expression serious. “I just think it would be nice if he had a sibling to play with.”

My heart sinks at his words, dampening the excitement I felt just moments ago. “But that's not possible, Dean. I don't have a womb. Unless you plan on having a child with someone else...”

I try to move off his lap, but he wraps his arm around me, holding me tightly in place. “Hey now, calm down,” he says, a small smile playing on his lips. “Why would I have a child with someone else when I can have a whole litter with you?”

I scowl at him, my emotions threatening to spill over. Is he purposely trying to hurt me? “What are you talking about, Dean?”

He takes a deep breath before speaking again. “JJ, they may have removed your womb, but you still have your eggs. We have options if we want more children; surrogacy or adoption. It doesn't matter to me how we do it, I just want us to fill this house with laughter and chaos and love.”

Tears prick at the corners of my eyes as I look at him in disbelief. “You... you really want more kids?”

Dean reaches up to wipe away the tears that escape down my cheeks with his thumb. “Of course I do, baby. Don’t you?”

My lip trembles as I nod, unable to find the words to express how much this means to me. “Of course I do.”

“Then fuck it, let's do it,” Dean gushes with an brilliant smile. “Let's have another baby.”

A watery smile spreads across my face as I meet Dean's gaze. “Okay,” I laugh softly. “Let’s have another baby.” Dean pulls my face to his and kisses me, stealing the very last speck of oxygen from my lungs.

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