Page 19 of Untamed

Why?Why them?

I haven’t slept since that day. Every time I close my eyes, I’m right back there. Trapped in a loop I can’t escape. Reliving the crash over and over again. The screech of tyres. The shattering of glass. The moment everything was ripped away from me. And every time I wake up gasping, it feels like I lose them all over again.

Bianca and Enzo are busy making arrangements for the funeral, which will be held in London in two weeks.

And me? I’m just... lost.

I don't feel like I belong anywhere anymore...like a ghost wandering halls that don’t know my name. This isn't my life. This isn’t my home.

I’m clinging to whatever pieces of myself I have left, but they keep slipping through my fingers. I’m failing, rather miserably at holding it together.

I can’t breathe. God, I can’t fucking breathe.

The walls of this bedroom feel like they’re closing in, suffocating me with every second that passes. When I can’t stand it a second longer, I shove my feet into a pair of shoes and slip out the door. The sun is sinking low, bleeding gold and pink across the horizon as I head outside, desperate for air. On my way out I swipe a bottle of amaretto. Desperate for something—anything,to numb this goddamn ache in my chest.

I’m living in a house full of people, but I feel so alone. Matteo and Bianca have been checking in on me daily, offering to take me out to help me take my mind off my grief, but I can’t. Aspainful as it is, I don’t want to forget about them. I want to hold on their memory for as long as I can before it starts to fade away.

The gravel crunches under my shoes as I wander aimlessly through the gardens, the half-empty bottle of amaretto swinging at my side. Five sips in and I’m already feeling tipsy. The Russo mansion shrinks behind me with every lazy step.

The air is cool against my skin, the sky bruised with the last colours of the setting sun, but none of it feels real.

I stumble into a back garden and find myself standing at the edge of a pool tucked away behind a wall of towering cypress trees. The water is still, smooth like glass, reflecting the darkening sky.

I walk to the edge, toes brushing the stone lip. For a while, I just stand there, staring down at the perfect, untouched surface. Staring at the reflection of a girl I no longer recognise. Then I slowly turn around, take one long swig of the liquor before I drop it on the grass, close my eyes, tip my head back...andfall.

The world tilts.

The sky vanishes.

The cold slap of water hits me like a punch to the back.

I sink under, the weight of my clothes dragging me down. The shock knocks the air from my lungs, but I don’t fight it. I just let myself drift, suspended, weightless and empty.

For a moment, there’s no pain. No sound. Just the slow, muffled beat of my heart fading into nothing.

I like it.

Then, a shout disrupts my peace, sharp and frantic, pierces through the water followed by a splash. It gets louder, then closer.

Strong arms wrap around me, yanking me up, dragging me toward the surface.

I break through with a gasp, coughing and sputtering, blinking the sting of chlorine from my eyes. Everything blurs and spins wildly for a second before I realise what is happening.

When I open my eyes, I see him.

Ares.

He’s there. His large hands grip my waist tight, his face inches from mine, his dark hair dripping, his chest heaving with laboured breaths. The raw panic carved into his features stuns me more than the cold.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he snaps, his voice hoarse with something that isn’t just anger. He holds me like he’s afraid that if he lets go, I’ll go under again.

I stare at him, dazed, the weight of everything pressing down on me again, heavier than before. But in this moment, in the way his hands tremble ever so slightly against my skin, I feel something ground me for the first time since everything fell apart.

And maybe it’s the alcohol. Maybe it’s the grief choking me. Or maybe it’s justAres.

But I don’t pull away.

Not this time.

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