Page 249 of Let Me In

“Not too much.”

“Not trouble.”

“Mine to take care of.”

And over and over again:

“Safe.”

His hand lifts. Falls again.

Measured and unhurried. Sure.

He’s not trying to make it hurt. He’s not trying to make a point.

He’s grounding me to the moment with every measured swat.

“Safe and held,” he whispers. “My good girl.”

I press my face deeper into my arms. My eyes blur. But still—I try to hold it in.

I always do.

Tears brim, but I won’t let them fall. My jaw clenches. My fingers dig into the couch cushion beneath me. I breathe through the sting, the ache, the way it lights up something deep and trembling.

I want to cry. I do.

But there’s still something inside me that says I don’t deserve to. That this isn’t enough to warrant the sob caught in my throat.

Cal’s rhythm never falters.

But after a while, he speaks again. Low. Certain.

“I can feel you trying to be brave.”

I don’t answer.

“Sweet girl…”

He shifts.

One arm tightens around my waist. Then—slowly—he hooks one strong leg over both of mine. The weight of it settles warm and sure, locking me gently in place. There’s no force—just presence. Just the quiet promise that I won’t be allowed to drift. That I’m kept, exactly where I need to be. Holding me steady.

His other leg shifts upward beneath me, lifting my hips slightly, giving him better access to where it really settles. The place where he got through to me before.

The softest, deepest parts of me.

He runs his hand along my lower back.

“I’m not spanking you because you’re in trouble, Emmy. I’m spanking you because you’re holding it all in again.”

I suck in a breath.

“And I’m not going to let you.”

The next swat lands low—where the sting blooms deeper. Where it lingers. My breath catches, hips twitching in response, and something inside me clenches before melting at the steady ache. It’s not just sensation—it’s surrender.

My breath stutters.

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