Page 39 of Daddy's Heart

"Wasn't it?" He stops, his blue eyes burning with self-hatred. "You think this is some kind of cosmic joke? You think it's okay that I'm fucking the girl I saved while the girl I failed is dead in the ground?"

"Don't you dare."

"Don't I dare what? Tell the truth? Face reality?" He laughs, but there's no humor in it. "Jesus Christ, Emery. What kind of sick fuck does this make me?"

"It makes you human," I say firmly, standing up. "It makes you someone who carries too much guilt and blames himself for things beyond his control."

"I'm done with this conversation." He turns toward the door.

"You let me fall for you while sitting on this?" The words come out sharp, cutting. "You knew who I was this whole time and said nothing?"

He freezes, his hand on the door handle. "That's different—"

"Is it? You think it's okay that you're fucking the girl you saved while keeping secrets about the girl who died?" I throw his own words back at him, and I can see them hit their mark.

"Emery—"

"I need air." I push past him, heading for the door, but his hand shoots out and grips my elbow.

"You don't walk away from me," he growls, his voice low and dangerous. "Not now. Not ever."

I try to pull away, but his grip tightens. "Let go of me."

"No." His pale eyes are burning with something wild and desperate. "You don't get to storm off just because this got complicated."

"Complicated?" I laugh. "You think this is just complicated? You saved my life and never told me. You've been carrying guilt about my best friend and never said a word. That's not complicated, Colt. That's lying."

Something dangerous flickers across his face. "I was protecting you."

"From what? The truth? My own feelings?" I jerk my arm free. "You don't get to decide what I can handle."

"Don't I?" He steps closer, crowding me against the wall. "You were fifteen, baby girl. A scared kid who watched her best friend die. You think I was going to dump that on you?"

"Yes! Because it's my life, my trauma, my choice!" The words come out louder than I intended, and I can see Logan watching us from across the room with wide eyes.

Colt's jaw tightens. "You're being dramatic."

"And you're being a coward."

The words hang between us, sharp and cutting. His eyes flash with something dangerous, and for a moment I think he might pin me to the wall and kiss me until I can't breathe.

"Tell me, Colt. When you look at me, what do you see? Do you see the woman you love, or do you see your failure?"

For a long moment, he doesn't answer. Just stares at me with those pale blue eyes full of pain and want and terrible, crushing guilt.

"I see both," he admits finally.

"Then maybe you're just trying to make up for your guilt by being with me." The words come out cruel, designed to hurt. "Maybe this whole thing is just you trying to ease your conscience."

His face goes white. "That's not—"

"Isn't it? The perfect way to make yourself feel better. Save the girl, fuck the girl, live happily ever after?" I'm being unfair, and I know it, but I can't seem to stop. "Very convenient."

"Emery, don't—"

"I need to think." I push past him toward the door. "I need to figure out if any of this was real."

I'm already out the door, half-running down Main Street with tears streaming down my face. Behind me, I can hear heavy footsteps and Colt's voice calling my name, but I don't stop.

---