Page 14 of Until Presley

Something pulls in my chest when she says their names. I don’t understand what it is. I lean down to kiss her, but she turns her head, and I kiss her cheek.

“Not in front of the kids.” She plays it off, and I know she doesn’t want me to kiss her.

I glance over at Walker and nod before turning to Hanna, whose eyes are spitting fire at me. As I start to walk out, I hear an exchange of voices, and then Walker is beside me.

He waits until we are outside before he starts in on me. “Brother, you don’t want to walk away from her like that. Explain what’s going on. Fucking explain that Julia means nothing to you and that Win is your brother. I can imagine, from the way that phone call went, she thinks Win is a kid.”

“He is a fucking kid, for all intents and purposes.” I throw my hands up. “She needs to understand I have responsibilities.”

“Responsibilities that will take you from her?”

“Well…” I pause, weighing his words and considering where she stands in my priorities. Will I ever be able to put her first? “I don’t know.” Shaking my head, I jump into my Jeep and head to the hospital.

When I arrive, Win is lying in his bed, just like usual, watching an animal show on Disney+. I turn as Julia walks into the room.

“What the fuck?” I try to keep my voice down, but when I turn to the bed, Win is looking at me.

My heart breaks every time I see him like this. He’s trapped in his own mind, unable to break free. His eyes scan around,and when he can’t express himself, he usually acts out, throwing things and causing chaos. But he isn’t doing that now. He’s just watching Julia and me. When we aren’t entertaining enough, he turns back to the television.

“You said he was throwing a fit.”

“He needs company. You need to figure out your priorities,” she hisses.

I look at Win, and it hits me. I know what I want my priorities to be.

CHAPTER

SIX

PRESLEY

Itry to hold back the hurt. I should be used to this by now. Ever since I was ten, I’ve known I’m no one’s priority. What cuts the deepest, though, is the thought Ham might have a son with that nurse and doesn’t want me to know.

“It’s not what you think,” Hanna says, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I can’t stay here. I thought for once someone might actually want to make me a priority, but I should have known better.

“It’s okay. You know, I have a headache and shouldn’t snorkel. Maybe another time.” I move toward the door, praying Ham has left. As I reach it, the door opens, and in walks Walker. I move past him, but he stops me.

“I can take you somewhere, if you want. It’s honestly not what you’re thinking. Ham is a good person, but he’s got a lot of responsibilities.” Walker defends his friend, but it just makes the pain worse.

“I’m fine. I have to go.” I push past him and head out, but he stops me again.

He offers to give me a ride, and I figure, what’s the worst that could happen? At least I won’t have to pay for a service to pick me up. I’ll have him drop me off at the research center so he’s not away from his family that long.

We are almost to the center when his phone rings, and I know he’s talking to Ham. I can tell by Walker’s responses that Ham wants him to take me back to the shop.

When we stop at a light, I turn to Walker and say, “Never mind.”

Before the light turns green, I open the door and step out of the truck. I walk into the flow of tourist foot traffic so he can’t follow. I make it a block away before the tears start to fall. When I dial Leah’s number, it goes straight to voicemail.

“Girl, I need to talk. Please call me.” I leave a message and look at my phone. She should be up and going by now. I don’t understand what is happening with her.

I use my app and order a ride. I want to call Morgan, but I’m not sure of her schedule and don’t want to wake her or any of her small children if they are napping.

When I get home, I change the codes so Ham can’t get into my house anymore. I need a distraction to get out of my head.

I walk down to the beach and sit just out of the range of the waves. I love the ocean, always have, but I also hate it. I hate that it’s always been the first choice over me. I hate that it’s even my priority now, just like it is for my father. I can’t hate the child who took Ham from me, but I can be angry that he chose not to tell me about them. I would have understood. After my childhood, I know children should come first. My doctorate is my focus now, and I know someday I’ll choose it over any relationship. All because that little girl inside me wants to finally feel seen, and earning my doctorate is the only way I know how to do that.

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