Page 17 of Xavier

“Oh no,” she gasped, distress on her lovely face.

“Hey. Stop. Let me finish.” I gave her a level look, firm but not harsh as I held her gaze. When she settled and nodded her head, I dropped a kiss on top of her head and continued. “We had it all planned out. Me and Knuckles. He was still in prison, but the man has connections I don’t want to know about. I helped him prepare this, so I knew I’d be getting out as soon as I could finish the job.” She shifted, but I held her where she was. I wasn’t sure I could look at her just yet because the woman had rocked me to my core the night I killed her husband.

“I was gonna go in for some trumped-up drug charges or something. Didn’t really care as long as I could get out when I wanted. I was supposed to get an eighteen-month sentence, but Knuckles said the Miles family lawyer would get me out in six months tops if I was ready. I was going in to, uh, settle some disputes and stuff.” I knew she was about to ask so I cut her off. “It doesn’t really matter why right now, only that I had the choice to get out once I’d completed my tasks, which I got done in the six months I’d been allotted. I chose to stay because you… kept coming.” She sucked in a breath, her eyes going wide with shock and something I wasn’t quite sure of.

“Why would you do that?” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

I shrugged and repeated, “You kept coming.”

“You said that. Why not ask to meet up when you got out? Or ask for my phone number?”

“Because I’m a big guy. You already know I can be violent when I need to be. I wanted you to be ready for me. I wanted you to have a chance to heal inside and out. But most of all, I wanted you to know me, so you’d know without a shadow of a doubt, I’d never hurt you. Ever, Tillie. Not ever.”

“I know you wouldn’t. You saved me.”

“I’m also the guy who murdered your husband.”

“Because he beat me up!” She pushed herself up and braced her forearms on my chest. “Xavier, I never thought you’d hurt me. Not even that night when you went in with the Judge you pulled out from under your seat.”

I winced. “Christ. I was hopin’ you hadn’t actually seen me get my gun.”

“It wasn’t like I didn’t know what you did.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t want any more violence to touch you. When I killed that bastard, the only thing I cared about was makin’ sure you never had violence touch you again.”

“I waited in the truck like you said, but I didn’t want to. It was so hard watching the police take you away in handcuffs.” She shuddered, laying her head back on my chest and snuggling closer. She clutched my shirt tightly once again. “You saved me. When everyone else in my life was blinded by the wealth and privilege Paul’s lifestyle afforded them, you were the one who came to my rescue. You didn’t question if I was lying or if there had been a good reason for me being beat all to shit.” She sat up then, crossing her legs, tailor fashion. “I’ve replayed that night over and over in my mind, Xave. You knew. From the second I became aware of you, when I first looked into your eyes, I didn’t have to tell you what had happened. You just assumed.”

“Honey, I knew. Anyone with half a brain could tell what happened to you wasn’t an accident. Especially with the way you shied away from me when I stopped.”

“God, the rain was coming down so hard.” She gazed away from me, looking off in the distance, staring into the past. “The storm was probably the only reason I got away from the bastard that night.”

“Prissy fucker didn’t like gettin’ wet?”

“He was a coward,” she snapped. “Fucking terrified of storms.” Then Tillie winced and sighed. “That’s not fair. Lots of people are afraid of rough weather. But it’s the only reason I got out of the driveway.”

“I killed that son of a bitch too fuckin’ quick.” I hadn’t meant to mutter that out loud, but when Tillie gave me a faint smile, I decided maybe I hadn’t said something to scare her.

“When you stopped that night, I think I’d resigned myself to whatever happened. I didn’t want to be raped or beaten or anything. I just wanted it all to be over.”

“Christ, baby.” I reached for her then, pulling her on top of me so she straddled my hips. Wrapping my arms around her, I held her so tight I was afraid she wouldn’t be able to breathe, but when I loosened my hold, she whimpered.

“More.”

“Don’t let me hurt you, honey. I don’t ever want to hurt you.”

She shifted and moved higher in my arms so we were face-to-face. “And you never will, Xave. It’s just the kind of man you are.”

Then, to my complete and utter surprise, Tillie met my lips with hers.

Chapter Eight

Tillie

I don’t know why I kissed Xavier. One second I was lost in the nightmare of my past, the next I knew I’d die if I didn’t taste him. His lips were warm and firm against mine, a stark contrast to my hesitant touch. For a moment he froze, then his hand came up to cradle the back of my head, his fingers tangling in my hair as he returned the kiss with gentle restraint.

I could feel him holding back, careful not to frighten me, and that tenderness made something break loose inside me. I pressed closer, deepening the kiss, desperate to feel more of him. His other arm tightened around my waist, and he groaned softly against my mouth.

When we finally broke apart, it was Xavier who ended the kiss. We were both breathing heavily and I’m sure the desire in Xavier’s eyes mirrored my own. Still, because he was the man he was, Xavier had to make sure this was what I really wanted.

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