Page 18 of Xavier

“Tillie,” he whispered, his voice rough. “You don’t have to do this. Not for me. Not because you think you owe me something.”

I shook my head, cupping his face between my palms. “I’m not. I want this. I want you.”

His expression was a mixture of hope and disbelief. “You’ve been through hell today. I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret when you’re thinking clearer.”

I couldn’t help but be amused. “I can’t tell you how many nights I lay in my bed by myself and dreamed you’d come to me. I’d wake up just as you were sliding your cock inside me and want to cry in frustration.” That made him suck in a breath, his eyes going wide. “Yeah, Xave. Do you want to know why I’m absolutely sure this is what I want?”

He swallowed, nervous. “I want to point out that bikers and convicts have a certain… reputation.” He looked and sounded like he was giving me a lecture, and I nearly smiled. “While I most certainly have the necessary equipment at or above the average size, I haven’t had sex since a month and three days before I went to prison.” I knew better than to smile, but it was getting harder and harder. “Do not take this first time to mean I’m gonna be a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am kind of fuck. I might come before you the first time, but I swear by God Almighty you will come. Several times.”

That was all I could take. I burst into giggles while leaning in to kiss him again. He sighed, then let out a disgruntled grumble against my lips. “Don’t see anything so Goddamned funny.” But there was no heat in his voice.

“This is one of many reasons I know I’m absolutely making the right decision. There was never any doubt in my mind you’d make sex good for me. But now I’m worried I might be rushing things.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I wished them back. So, I put a finger in his face and gave him what I hoped was a stern look. “But you absolutely will not go find another woman to fuck. You want to fuck, I’m all over that shit. But it will be me. Not someone else, so forget I said I was rushing things. Seems like I’ve not moved fast enough.”

Now it was his turn to laugh. “Little bloodthirsty, baby?”

I shrugged. “Maybe. I just want things clear from the start. You said you’d never reject me for sex, and I’m OK for it to be just sex.” I winced, shaking my head. “OK, that’s not true. I won’t be OK with it, but I’ll still accept it. I want you that much, Xave. I’ll take what you’re willing to give.”

“Good,” he grunted before snaking his arms back around me. The feeling of security was immediate. Being held tightly in this man’s arms was like nothing I’d ever experienced. I wanted to stay with him forever, but if this was all I ever got, I’d hold it in my heart forever and smile every time I thought about it. “Because, baby, you ain’t gettin’ just sex from me.” His voice was low and rough, his dark eyes intense as they searched mine. “What you’re gettin’ is everything I got to give. All of me, for as long as you’ll have me.”

My breath caught in my throat. “Xavier…”

“Shh.” He brushed his thumb across my bottom lip. “Let me show you what you mean to me, Tillie Girl.”

This time when our lips met, there was no hesitation from either of us. The kiss was deeper, hungrier, filled with all the longing that had built up between us over countless Saturday visits separated by bulletproof glass. His hands roamed across my back, pulling me impossibly closer as I melted against him.

When he rolled us over so I was beneath him, he braced himself on his forearms, careful not to crush me with his weight. “You tell me if you need me to stop, yeah? Anytime, for any reason.”

I nodded, running my hands up his muscled arms. “I will. But I won’t need to.”

He studied my face for a long moment, then slowly began kissing his way over my chin and down my neck to the swell of my breast. His lips traced a path of fire across my skin, and I arched into his touch, desperate for more. Every careful caress erased another memory of pain, replacing it with pleasure so intense I could barely breathe.

“Xavier,” I gasped as his hand slipped under my shirt, his calloused fingers skimming along my ribs with surprising gentleness.

“I got you, baby,” he murmured against my collarbone. “Let me take care of you.”

My breath hitched as his lips slid up and down my neck, his beard creating a delicious friction against my sensitive skin. Each touch was reverent, almost worshipful, so different from anything I’d experienced before.

“Can I take this off?” Xavier murmured against my collarbone, his fingers playing with the hem of my shirt.

“Yes,” I whispered, lifting my arms to help him. “Please.” The cool air hit my skin as he pulled the fabric over my head, but any chill was immediately replaced by the heat of his gaze.

“Beautiful,” he breathed, taking in the sight of me in my simple cotton bra. His calloused fingers traced the edge of the fabric, sending shivers down my spine. “So fucking beautiful.”

I reached for his shirt, suddenly desperate to feel his skin against mine. “Need you, Xave.”

With a crooked smile, Xavier sat back on his heels and pulled his shirt off in one fluid motion. I couldn’t help but stare at the expanse of tattooed muscle revealed to me. My fingers itched to trace every line, every scar, every inch of him. He was heavily muscled but not overly large. Just perfect for me.

“Like what you see?” There was a hint of vulnerability beneath his teasing grin.

“Pretty sure you know exactly how yummy you look.”

“Make no mistake about it, sweetheart. I am yummy.” His cocky, boyish grin made me laugh. Especially when he flexed. Xavier always had the power to make me laugh, even when I’d been sad, afraid, or felt defeated. Of course, he’d make me comfortable during intimacy. Xavier would settle for nothing less than our first time together being absolutely perfect.

I should have felt self-conscious. I wasn’t wearing anything fancy, and my body bore the faint marks of old scars Paul had left. The way Xavier looked at me, though, made me feel like the most desirable woman on earth.

When he unhooked my bra and slid it off, I didn’t try to cover myself. Instead, I watched his face as he gazed at my breasts, the naked hunger in his expression giving me much needed courage.

Xavier lowered his head to press a reverent kiss to the slope of one breast. “Been dreaming about this for too fuckin’ long.”

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