Page 24 of At Last

Duke reaches over to tuck those strands behind my ears and then for some reason, pulls off his T-shirt.

I told him it’s not going to happen tonight.What’s he thinking?His intent becomes clear when he pulls mine off me to drag his down over my head. “Climb in bed, honey. You in my tee, Peaches won’t think it’s weird that her mom’s sleeping next to me in her underwear.”

“I thought I’d sleep next to her.”

“You thought wrong. You’re my woman now, and that means sleeping next to me. She’ll get used to it.”

Normally the idea would freak me out because I’ve never been one of those women to parade men in and out of my daughter’s life. I willneverbe that mother. But somehow, with Duke, even though we’re new, I know it won’t be like that with him. He’ll have a mind to me and Jade. I don’t know how I know, I just do. The biker and the doctor. Who would have ever thought we’d have anything in common?

The sound of the toilet flushing comes at us through the bathroom door. A few minutes after Jade appears, still sleepy, rubbing her eyes. She walks over to me and presses her face against my thigh.

“Night, Mama,” she says through a yawn and kisses where her face rests as I bend down to kiss the top of her head. To my surprise, she moves over to Duke and repeats the same action, pressing her face against his thighs. “Night, Duke.”

And an even bigger surprise, although by this point it probably shouldn’t be, he does the same as me and kisses the top of her head. Then one upping me, he picks her up to walk her back over to the sofa sleeper and tucks her in snuggly under the blankets.

I unfasten my bra and do the oldslide it out through the armhole of the T-shirttechnique every girl learns in like, seventh grade, because it’s not comfortable to sleep in an underwire, and with tatas four years post pregnancy, I don’t wear anything but underwire. Then I lift up the comforter, climb onto the bed, and let the fluffy, cream blanket fall back over me. I love the coolness of getting into a freshly made bed.

Not two minutes later, Duke slides in next to me. Now with the Jade drama over, my mind begins to reel with the fact that not only have I given him my first blowjob in years, but that I swallowed. I’m simultaneously proud of and horrified with myself.

What did he think of it? What does he think of me?

Maybe I tensed or maybe it’s the look on my face, whatever allows him to read me, he reads me well enough to want to ease my mind. The way he rolls us to our sides, face to face, so mine rests against his chest. The way he folds his arms around me. The gentle way he squeezes, not a goodnight, but a ‘welcome to life with me’. It all speaks to me.

“Not sure what you did different, Doc.” He whispers in a soft tone unlike anything I’ve heard out of the man. “But never been sucked ’til my knees give out before tonight.”

“Is that good?” I chance.

“The fucking best,” he says. “And I don’t know how to feel about that.”

Because of Dawna. He had a wife. She died of cancer. We haven’t discussed her yet, but Elise filled me in on what Boss had filled her in on when I’d started fishing for information about the sexy biker president.

He doesn’t know how to feel about it, which means he doesn’t know what to feel about me.

I choose to let it go for now, instead choosing to sleep. We’ve got time. His arms loosen, and his breaths even out, which means he’s fallen asleep before me. I listen to his light smoker’s wheeze and let it lull me under.

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