Page 29 of Lady Sings the Blues

8.

Mark

Did she agree? She smiled and pressed her lips to mine. But I got so caught up with her lovin’ on me that I didn’t follow through. I never actually made her say the words. Yet that kiss, it has to mean yes, don’t it? I’m goin’ with yeah because she feels me. Shefeelsme. And it’s the real me. Even if she hasn’t seen me yet, she knows I’m in here. In the room. In her heart. Nothing else to matter.

I keep her pinned against the wall where I can really hold her. Elise. My woman. How it should’ve always been. Without that hiccup of Logan keepin’ us apart. Seven years ago when we met her. Then five, when she left us.

Ever since she stepped back into my life we’ve been playin’ this game. I tell her she is my woman, she don’t deny it but then some bullshit thing happens and she does, pullin’ away, distancing herself from me and everyone else who could be real family to her if she’d let us in.

But she came to apologize to my brothers on her own, and she did admit out loud she needs me. She’s with me.

Hurdle one successfully jumped. Now for hurdle number two.

She has to hear the truth.

Leaving it out has been hard, but I stand by it was the best decision for the both of us. Slowly… slowly, I’ll introduce her to all the truths until we have no more secrets between us.

“You’re amazing,” she says softly, her voice shaking. And it’s all she says. My mouth slides into a stupid, large grin. It’s the only movement aside from my rapidly beating heart, which I have no control of, as I just continue to take in all of Elise. Like her smell, it engulfs me. This delicate combination of rose perfume and hints of almond and vanilla body wash, mixed with the Tide she clearly washes her clothes in. She’s more than that though, she’s more than what I can smell or touch or see or hear. There’s so much in this moment for my head to wrap around. For now though, our closeness seems to be enough for her, too.

We’ve stayed in the room long enough for my brothers to think I’ve taken her at least a couple of times. I don’t care if they know or don’t know but I realize she’s done it for me. “Okay, Mark. I think it’s safe. We can go now.”

“I’ve loved every minute of holdin’ you. But darlin’, we could’ve left any time you wanted.”

She smiles again. “I know. And I love that about you. But these are still bikers, and you might not have totally lost face in their eyes, you’ve misplaced enough of it because of me. If I can help get it back for you, I want to.”

“You said you love me.”

“No, I said I loved something about you. There’s a difference.”

“Whatever you need to get you through the day, baby girl.” I bend over snatching her blouse from the floor and then plant a long, wet kiss on her open mouth while shoving the shirt in her hands resting at my stomach.

I really wish she didn’t have to be exposed to this side of the club. I’m not embarrassed by my brothers, but havin’ her witness this scene as we leave the privacy of my room, it’s too soon. The pieces have all arrived for the afternoon.

She stops walking to take it all in. Duke’s on one of the sofas, arms spread wide across the back, his Levi’s undone, eyes closed and contented smile on his face as his regular piece sucks him off. While my woman stands on.

Elise, she looks pained and uncomfortable, not so much judgmental this time. And I want to know what’s going through that pretty little head of hers. So I grab hold of her hand pullin’ her out of eyesight of what comes down to a typical Saturday night with us.

Unfortunately I can’t get her out fast enough. We see Chaos in the corner, a relatively new piece—I don’t even know her name—stripped buck naked, ridin’ his cock hard in a reverse cowgirl. Her tits bouncing while he pulls a handful of auburn hair to tilt her head back and bites down on the exposed skin like a vampire with his prey.

Chaos catches her staring and winks—the bastard. Although I see her eyes glisten from unshed tears, she don’t hightail it like I thought she would but holds her head up higher and flips him a double bird as she struts slowly, confidently out of the club. She keeps up the façade until we reach the truck, and I catch the lip tremble as I help her up and shut the door.

I slide in next to her. “Okay. Out with it. What’s goin’ on, darlin’?”

“That was you?”

Not going to lie to her. “It was.”

“Those women are so beautiful. I doubt any one of them would take ‘no I have an old lady’ for an answer.”

“So what’re you sayin’?”

“I can’t be that woman. You’re talking rings and babies. All I’m picturing is my man off at the club, screwing some other woman’s brains out.”

“Do you trust me?”

Elise’s face goes cold, expressionless, and she turns away, wrapping her arms protectively around her middle as she watches out her window. “There’s a lot of temptation.”

“Not what I asked. Do you trust me?” I turn down the radio, then tug on her elbow to get her to respond to me. What she says next is vital to our future together.

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