Page 47 of Lady Sings the Blues

His release came just as beautiful, the way he turned my chin to look him in his eyes as he unloaded inside me. Then falling against my back, he trapped me between the headboard and his body for only a moment under all his body weight before pushing up on one arm while brushing strands of hair, which had fallen in front of my eyes, behind my ear with his other hand.

Beau lays us down, face to face, chest to chest. I have to remind myself he’d lied to me. Yet, the way he never breaks his stare, it’s so personal. So intimate. So much more than great sex.

I’m lost to him again.

“Done fightin’ me, now?” he asks on a heavy breath.

God he’s beautiful, sweat glistening his brow as he smiles that crooked smile down at me. He already knows the answer.

I nod. My head being the only part of my body I seem to have retained control over. Never knew it could be this good.

“Why, Elise?”

His question confuses me, pulling me from the blissful state I’d taken up residence in.

“I need to hear you say it,” he then says, and it hits me, what he needs to hear.

“I don’t know if I can tell you yet.”

“You can. You’re thinkin’ too much. I don’t wanna know what’s in here.” Then he brushes the back of his hand along my temple. “The head always messes shit up. I wanna know whatcha feel here.” He moves his hand to press the skin over my heart.

Oh, what do I feel? What. Do I feel? Only that my head and my heart are at war with each other, and I should be putting up more of a fight (my head) but I’m tired of fighting and just want to enjoy my time with him (my heart).

“Part of me might still hate you, Beau.”

“Darlin’.” He shakes his head then brushes a light kiss over the apple of my cheek. “None of you hates me. You’re just scared, and I get it. I wasn’t exactly up front with all the information.”

“Just give it to me now.”

“Can we agree to you tryin’ life as my old lady, first?’

“I’m here aren’t I?”

“Don’t know. Are you here or are youhere? Because baby girl, I need you to know the parts I withheld, those are the unimportant parts. The feelings I’ve given you, those are what’s real, what matters.”

“I’mhere, Beau. But I’m not ready to give you any more than that yet.”

“Fair enough. Waited seven years. Can wait a little longer.”

Hell, even if Ididn’tstill love him, after he gave me four orgasms? Yeah. I nod again. Snuggling closer against his chest. I’m good giving him that.

“Okay,” Beau says, very seriously. As if we’d decided something.

“Okay.” I repeat, too tired and sexually spent to say more.

Then after leaning over to kiss my forehead, he tugs us both up the bed. As he folds down the covers, I arch my butt up to help him along, then we’re laying side by side, me tucked up under his arm once he’s brought the blankets back up to cover us.

“Now sleep. We got a lot to talk about. I wanna rest before we get into it, and I want us past it by the time we get home.”

“Sure.” I yawn, letting Beau flip me over to use him as a full body pillow. He flings my arm across his pecs and my leg across his thigh. And I’m perfectly fine giving up all the control because I lack the energy to do anything but submit.

Pulling me closer, kissing the top of my head once more, he lets me alone to drift off to sleep.

When my eyes open again, it’s to the sensation of Beau kissing my neck, sucking the skin into his mouth. There’s no light filtering in around the curtains from the outside, so it must still be early morning.

“Hey, baby girl.” He pauses his ministrations to greet me.

I finally get to reach up and run my fingers through that thick hair. Losing the hairband, his luscious peanut butter locks fall down around his neck. He presses into my hand, his low growl, an admission to his enjoyment on how I work my fingers.

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