Page 48 of Lady Sings the Blues

“I think I wanna fuck you again before we talk.” Beau brushes his lips along my earlobe.

“Weren’t you supposed to tell me the truth while buried to the hilt inside me?”

He pulls back allowing me to see his whole face, but mostly my eyes fixate on that adorably crooked smile. “You remembered.” It’s a statement, not a question.

“Hardly an offer a girl could forget.”

Beau rolls over on top of me, resting most of his bodyweight on his forearms. “Open your legs, darlin’.”

I do, allowing him to settle between them. My inner thighs resting against his outer thighs. “You ready to hear the truth?”

Yes. I nod my answer. No buildup necessary this time, just the promise of what’s to come, namely me. As I am achingly ready.

He positions himself at my entrance and slides in, slowly filling me up to the hilt. Nothing has ever felt as perfect as Beau inside me.

Before he begins to move, he holds my stare. “I never set you up. Think you know that by now, but it’s important I get that out first.” Then he moves his hips, withdrawing almost all the way before sliding in slowly again. Every inch of him extracting concentrated pleasure. “Was plannin’ on tellin’ you that day, so I could be there for you, support you at your father’s funeral.” He picks up the pace, only subtly, kissing everywhere his lips reach.

I think it’s perfect until he throws a twist of his hips in hittingthespot. And I scream his name, digging my nails into his back. I might have drawn blood. I don’t know. What I do know, this…this is perfection.

“I wanted us to show a united front. I needed the town to know they mess with you, they feel the wrath of the Brimstone Lords. I have loved you since high school, Elise. You should’ve been mine from that day in front of the Whippy Dip. Not Logan’s. But you chose him then, so I hung back for you and for him. ‘Course, by spring of your senior year you found your way back to me. You and me, we were already in love. Even if you hadn’t said the words yet.”

“But you didn’t want me because of the baby.”

He twists his hips again rendering me incapable of thinking straight.

“You’re wrong, darlin’. I wanted you and was willin’ to raise Logan’s baby as my own. Everyone was hurtin’ so bad at the funeral, lookin’ to me to make it right. I thought if I just gave them that day…”

My heartrate kicks up as his pace picks up.

“Oh, Beau…”

“Elise, baby girl. You left that day…and never…oh fuck!Never…came back.”

I clamp down around him at the start of my release, triggering his release, and we come together.

And then we pass out.

It’s later in the morning by the time I open my eyes again. I can tell by how the light that didn’t shine earlier, shines around the closed curtains now. He’s beautiful lying next to me, slumbering in a way which seems to have evaded me despite the mind-blowing orgasms he’s pulled from my body.

If I stay in bed with him I’ll keep tossing and turning, only succeeding to wake the poor, clearly spent man from his restfulness. So I carefully, slowly slink from the bed and his arms, and move to the bathroom for a little me time.

Can I accept what he’s told me and move on? Because I never want to be that woman, the one who brings up shit that happened twenty years ago just to hurt him. If he and I are going to make this work, I have to be able to put that time behind me.

The water jets in the shower help to reduce my stress some. Lying flush against the travertine tiles, they massage my body with spray from three walls.

Truthfully, what does holding a grudge do besides cause us both heartache? How much more time am I willing to waste? Our truth isn’t easy, but it’s ours. And I have to accept it or let him go for good.

With the water pelting against my skin, I sink to the floor. Realization hitting like a hammer strike: I’m not ready to let him go for good.

I’ve decided to forgive Beau Hollister.

When I step back inside the room wearing nothing but the fluffy, white towel, he’s awake and his eyes alight with intense desire for me. To his credit though, he doesn’t look solely at my body, moving those chocolate brown eyes up to meet my blue ones.

“What brought on that smile?” he asks. “It lights up the whole room, you know that?”

“I forgive you Beau.” I shrug, needing him to feel my sincerity.

He knifes up, a thickness to his voice. “For what? What’d I do this time?”

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