Page 34 of Summer of the Boy

July

Chapter Eight

We were supposed to hang out with Amanda today but she got the opportunity from Caitlin, Gabe’s girlfriend, to go see some concert out of town. I told her to go, we’d catch up later. So that leaves Rid and I to spend the day together since it’s his day off and his mother is at work.

I’m looking inside the refrigerator trying to figure out something for us to eat for lunch when Rid walks up behind me and tags my hand from the door. “Come with me,” he says.

It’s still hard to believe this is the same man I met in full-blown meltdown mode just weeks ago. Even if he’s not quite there with other people, Ridley looks me in the eye as best he can, more times than he doesn’t. He shows his confidence with me more times than he doesn’t.

Now being one of those confidant times, he leads me up the stairs and inside his bedroom. I’ve been in here a hundred times since we’ve started hanging out, but never alone while his mother’s at work. Today he shuts the door and locks it. Regardless of the growing anticipation in the pit of my bellyandmy crotch—I figure he wants to mess around again—I can’t stop thinking about why his mother lets him keep a lock on his door. Knowing what I know about her, I’m surprised she lets him have a door to lock. Maybe she couldn’t get it off the hinges?

He tugs my hand to get my attention. “What’s going on?” I ask.

“My mom is gone.”

“Yeah. I know.”

His ears turn a bright red as he releases my hand to drop his hands to his sides, rigid. Open. Close. Open. Close. Whatever it is must be serious. He hasn’t done the open and close thing for a while. Not since our break up.

“I want to be with you,” he says matter-of-factly. Yes. Matter-of-factly.

I cock my head to search his face, maybe get a read on things. Shit. I’m really scared. Does he regret what we did yesterday? God help me, what if he wants to break up again? Please don’t let it be that.

“You are with me,” I say back, not sure what else to say.

My heart is beating out of my freaking chest. It hurts to breathe.

Open. Close.

Open. Close.

“No,” he says. “I want to be with you like in that movie we watched yesterday.”

Open. Close.

Open. Close.

The man lays it out for me and all I can think isoh, thank Christ.He’s not breaking up with me. But we just watched that movie. He’d never even seen gay porn before. I don’t think he’s seen hetero porn before. I love him and I don’t want him doing anything because he thinks he’s supposed to. It’s a big step.

From this point on, we’ll be a couple whose had intercourse.Intercourse, really Leif?What the hell is wrong with me? I used to be cool, now I’m the guy who says intercourse instead of ‘done it’ or ‘gone all the way’.

Whatever, it doesn’t change the sentiment. Some people can be totally casual and look at it as nothing more than a perfunctory act. I’m not one of those people and I know Rid isn’t either.

“You mean you want to take it to the next level?” I ask, just to be clear.

Open. Close.

Open. Close.

I’m so proud of him. Taking the lead on this despite how hard it is for him to ask for what he wants. But he does take the lead, keeping his fists closed he looks in my eyes as much as an autistic man can. “Yes,” he whispers.

I walk over and drop down on his bed. He’s made it up with clean, fresh smelling sheets folded down over the comforter, crisp and white. “You sure?”

“We’ve been together a while now. Gabe asked me if we’d gone this far yet.”

There it is, exactly what I worried about. “That’s none of his business, you know.”

“I know. But I told him no.” He looks away from me like he thinks he’s in trouble. I’m going to lose him here. His hands—Open. Close. Open. Close. “He said that’s what you do when you’ve been together as long as we have.”

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