Page 36 of Summer of the Boy

No, I know he feels the same. A man like Ridley wouldn’t be lying in this bed right now if he didn’t.

Once I help him dispose of the condom, we fall back, both our heads landing on his pillow. Ridley wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me so I rest taut against him. From there I roll onto my side and hitch my bent knee over his thigh, resting my chin on his chest.

“Rid?”

He stares at the ceiling and I’m dying to know what thoughts draw him away from me after what we just did together.

“If it’s too much, I mean, for you to touch me now. Too much stimulus, you don’t have to hold me.”

“Are you happy?” he asks in lieu of answering my question.

“I seriously couldn’t be happier.”

His eyes stay averted but a smirk creeps over his face. “This is what we’re supposed to do.”

“Babe, we’re together no matter what. So don’t worry about what you think we’re supposed to do. I only want you happy. We can make our own rules as we go.”

He keeps his hand around my waist still, but the other goes rigid against my thigh. Open. Close. Only twice before he reins it in and calms himself down.

“Wow, Rid. You calmed yourself.”

“I’m an adult. Adults don’t have meltdowns. So I thought about touching you to calm myself. Touching you makes me happy.”

“Touching you makes me happy too.”

Rid starts absently trailing his fingers up and down my arm. “Gabe wasn’t your boyfriend, then.” It’s a statement not a question.

“Nope. Only had one other. I think Gabe wanted to be my boyfriend, but he’s still not ready to face it.”

“So that other guy, together five months and you never did that with him? You never wanted to try it out? Because that was the best thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.”

“I wanted to take that step with someone I loved. I never loved him.”

“But you did with me, because what we have is real.”

“It so is, babe. Everything about us is real. And it might sound stupid, or just be the post-coitus getting the best of me, but being with you makes me hopeful for life, for the future, you know?”

“Not stupid. Though, might be the post-coitus, but still I’m the luckiest man in the world. You love me.” He says it as factually as one would say “the sun is bright.” Then he bends his head to kiss me. “We’re going to do that again, aren’t we?”

“Whenever you want, Rid.”

“I think I’m going to marry you.”

“Oh, um… you do?”

“Not now. We still have college, but yeah. After. I’ve decided, I’m going to marry you.”

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