Page 48 of Summer of the Boy

“Wow, so Leif, you’re gay?” Caitlin, Amanda’s friend, I guess she’s my friend too, asks it in the form of a question, though I can tell it’s really a statement to wrap her head around the idea.

Because she’s known me for years, known me for dating her best friend and because we’ve been at this bonfire for a couple hours now. Amanda and I threw it in honor of Ridley’s birthday since living with his mom never afforded him the opportunity to make friends let alone have them throw him a party.

We contacted all our old friends. Had them meet us at the old docks, an unused section of beach since the shipping company went belly up. It’s still private property so technically we’re trespassing. But it always made for a good spot for underage partying since it’s still private property, the cops don’t patrol through here. As much as for tradition as the fact we’re all still underage, party at the old docks.

“Yep,” I answer her proudly, if not a bit drunkenly, and lean over to kiss Rid’s cheek. It’s a game I started tonight. Every time one of the old crowd asks me, “You’re gay?” I kiss Ridley. Not to prove a point. Just my version of a drinking game, without shooting a shot.

By the way no one really seems to care that I’m gay, and that one of the girls from Amanda’s pom squad who’s here tonight came out as a lesbian when she went away to school. And another kid we graduated with, an artsy girl who always wore her hair in a pixie cut, she’s not here tonight but we found out from Caitlin, that wasn’t just a pixie cut and she’s no longer a she, as in he’s in the process of transitioning fully from Lena to Len. I wish I had the guts to say something sooner.

High school’s a bitch.

But maybe I wouldn’t have hurt Amanda the way I did. Although she’s forgiven me, it’s a regret I’ll hold onto forever.

“Hey Caitlin, where’s Gabe tonight?” One of my former teammates, not one of the one’s who harassed Ridley at the beginning of summer, calls out. He’s having a hard time standing, swaying side to side on his drunken feet.

It probably would’ve been comical to see the way the three of us; me, Ridley and Amanda, stiffen and whip our head up in unison at the mention of Gabe’s name. Not that any of the people here are sober enough to have caught it.

“Don’t know. Don’t care,” she says. A twinge of hurt crosses her face.

“What? You two break up or something?” The guy asks.

“A couple days ago. I found out he’s been cheating. Don’t know who with, the picture is too dark.”

“Picture?” I ask.

“Yeah. Someone sent it anonymously to my phone. His body is blocking the bitch, but he’s clearly… Well let’s just say, the bitch is on her knees and his head is thrown back in the throes of ecstasy.”

Now I feel bad because I can see her picturing that look on him as I’m remembering that look too.

Maybe one day he’ll find the courage to be who he is, if it’s gay or bi or whatever other label he chooses. Doesn’t matter. I’m just glad Caitlin extracted herself from the situation. She’s pretty nice away from Gabe. And the first thing she did when she saw Ridley was apologize for being a jerk and not standing up for him at the carnival. Even going as far as to tell him she never wants to be that person again.

She sounded sincere.

“It’s cool,” she continues. “State’s a big school and we don’t have the same major. He’ll go his way. I’ll go mine.” She says it with a drunken bravado, but I can clearly hear the hurt in her voice. “I’m thinking maybe I’ll try dating a hockey player next time. Those dudes are hot.” We all laugh. She raises her bottle of some fruity wine cooler type beverage and calls, “To hockey.”

The rest of us raise our bottles and return. “To hockey.”

I look over to Rid, taking a long pull from his beer. I think aside from his smile, his superpower might be drinking. He never has before, but manages to keep up with the best of us. The guy’s no lightweight.

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