Page 15 of My Fearless Fake Fling

Five:

I can’t recall how the movie ended. I woke the next morning to the sun shining through the blinds of Lennon’s window, laying in Lennon’s big—and I hated to admit this—comfy bed, with Lennon’s bare-chested body wrapped around mine.

I remained fully clothed and Len had one bent leg kicked from under the covers, hooked over my thighs, showing off his fully-panted self.

Okay. No sex. Good.

Yeah, my brain sucker-punched me for thinking that, too.

It had been over a year since Brian broke things off, which meant over a year since my girl parts flicked on the NO VACANCY sign. Nope. Vacant up in there. Vacant, vacant, vacant—as far as the eye could see. That last part I added for effect. I mean, unless you owned a speculum and went by the name Dr. Shivers, OBGYN, then you really couldn’t see anything. But I believe I made my point.

My body wanted him.

My crush, which apparently controlled my body, wanted him.

Iwantedhim.

I couldn’t have him, though, right? Because what did I really know about him besides he was a sexy jump instructor who sailed around the world?

Well, very sexy jump instructor.

Let’s just say I gave in and had sex with him, then what? I knew going into it he was a fake boyfriend only around for a month.

My screaming crush vehemently rejected the idea of him leaving, but that was an inevitability.

How bad would it get for me if we did sex things up?

Although if I didn’t, I’d still be the same fearful Kami who got made fun of behind her back by people she thought were her friends, instead of the fearless Kami who’d taken back her life. Made it whole again.

Maybe I could find real love again, not the fake kind from a fake boyfriend or the cheating kind from a real boyfriend who couldn’t handle my rough patch.

I can do this…I can do this… I rolled into him, bent in, and kissed him for all of two seconds.I can’t do this…

And I abruptly turned away, or at least Itriedto turn away. Hard to do when the sleepy man you just tongue-assaulted grabbed on tight and wouldn’t let go.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I tried to apologize. I tried to protest, pushing away from him. Lennon held on tighter. And then he bent in and kissed me. No tongue-assault this time, not with me as a willing participant.

Len kissing me in the lake blew my ever-loving mind. Len kissing me in a bed in a way that distinctly felt like a prelude to sex—with Len—no words existed in the English language to describe this. I’d say the world, but as I didn’t know all the languages of the world, that would be a pretty brazen statement on my part.

His hands began to roam blissfully up under the hem of my shirt. Caressing strokes lit my skin on fire. I used to get turned on by Brian; we had a really good sex life. But I didn’t ever remember it feeling like this. In the hierarchy of turned-on-edness,combustiblehad never filled the top spot before.

“Is this going further?” he asked.

What? Did he say something? Those hands. His mouth. I never wanted him to stop. My breasts heaved with each breath. I just… I just—

“Kami, sweetheart. Is this going further? I need to know.”

Oh. Um. “Yes. Much, much further.” How did he expect me to think straight, let alone hear properly with the blood pounding in my ears? He gave sensation overload.

Thankfully, a thought did break through. “Condom,” I said as a reminder. Surely someone as aesthetically pleasing as Len had a plethora of colored, ribbed and maybe even flavored ones stashed in his nightstand.

“Don’t worry,” he chuckled out. “I got you covered.” Just as I thought, he reached over to the nightstand, opened the drawer and pulled out a handful of packets. He didn’t even bother pushing the drawer closed again before he was back to giving me kisses.

And then he—whoosh!My T-shirt up and gone faster than a jackrabbit in a sprinting contest. As he—dear lord, lord, lord—moved his mouth down my neck, grazing his teeth lightly along the way, Len reached his hand behind my back to deftly unlatch my bra. The straps, he pulled down my arms and tossed it onto the floor alongside the tee.

When his mouth found my nip, I swore angels sang in chorus. And when he switched to the other, trumpets joined in. This. So much this. I needed him almost more than I needed my heart to keep beating.

“Please,” I whispered. “Please, I need you.”

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