Page 25 of My Fearless Fake Fling

Like with all the other challenges, the attendant videoed this latest escapade for us. Messages popped up by the tens and twenties of all the people who’d seen us climb the rock wall and then zipline down on my social media accounts.

One in particular caught my eye.

Brian:Proud of you, Kams. You look gr8.

Hmm… I looked great, huh? Well, I wondered how New Zealand Kiki would feel about his comment. What did it matter? I had Len sitting next to me. His arm around me. My head on his shoulder. I’d never have done any of this without him. Brian could take his proud-of-you and shove it where the sun don’t shine.

He never tried to help me past my issues. He’d simply replaced me well before I’d known I was being replaced.

Gah. This was bad. Mayday. Mayday. My resistance ship was going down. We’d moved past screaming crush two challenges ago. I was falling for Lennon.

I was falling for him and he was bound to break my heart. At some point someone as great as Len was bound to meet a girl he wanted for a real girlfriend. And any girl with functioning brain cells in her head would want him back.

“Ready?” he asked, placing a kiss to my temple.

“Mmm… yeah.”

The final challenge I didn’t understand. It started out like all the others, mainly us taking the walking trail to our destination. But our destination brought us back to the front building. Though instead of going back into the lobby, Len veered us right to a different door. Inside was a reptile house. Reptiles never scared me. Every species lived behind glass with heating lamps to keep them warm. We stopped at each of the habitats. Snakes and lizards. One handler was mid-drop with a freeze-dried mouse into a rattler’s terrarium. We stayed long enough to watch it shake his namesake rattle and launch, fangs bared, at the dead rodent, swallowing it down in two gulps. The way the muscles rippled forcing the furry meal down the snake’s throat fascinated me.

In the middle of the room, they’d set up a small stadium-style bench seating area. Shallow steps moved down toward a heavy-duty stone and cement table, and what looked like a coat tree for handler hooks.

Len led me down to the front, where we took the center spots. Although we were the first, it didn’t take long for other people to file in and fill the seats. One main handler walked out and welcomed us. He began explaining about the hooks. The food they fed the snakes and lizards. And other interesting facts about reptiles.

Behind him, his assistants walked in one at a time, some carrying poisonous snakes in portable terrariums, and some with lizards like bearded dragons and chameleons to show off. Sitting in the air conditioning was a nice reprieve from the heat outdoors, but I still didn’t understand where the challenge lied.

Then Len stood up and handed our tickets to the lead handler. He punched the last holes for us and handed them back. Len pulled me up and that was when I thought my heart would seize up.

“It wouldn’t be a trip to the reptile house without getting to see the constrictors,” the handler, who introduced himself as Tod, told the audience.

Three, yes, three assistants brought out six feet of reticulated python. I think Tod talked about the skin patterns. But I couldn’t get myself to look anywhere but the bulge in the belly. The bulge that had begun its life as a leg connected to an incredibly large pig.

“Mollie”—what they named the snake—“loves pork,” Tod announced loudly to the giggles and squeals of the audience.

Great. But I needed to know the challenge.

“To end the show, we always bring up volunteers. Today we have—” Tod paused.

“Kami and Len,” Len told him.

“Kami and Len,” Tod repeated louder for the rest of the audience.

Now the nerves showed their ugly, nervous faces.

“What do you do?” he asked.

“I’m a skydiving instructor,” Len answered.

My turn. “I’m a stylist at an upscale salon.”

“That’s an interesting pairing,” Tod went on. “Welcome.”

I made the mistake of letting my guard down. Oh, that sneaky Tod, he called me up to stand next to him, which I did, Len taking the spot next to me.

“Put a body width between you, please?” Tod asked us.

And like fools, we did, stepping apart.

“Now Kami and Len are going to help us show you just how long reticulated pythons can get.”

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